tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49670703386720679942024-03-18T11:50:40.246-07:00A Work in Progressslow Living │living a slow lifeHeather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-71729034187393900622024-03-18T11:13:00.000-07:002024-03-18T11:50:06.486-07:00Grandpa's Desk<p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYlTH_0ljsRrJUmItyJsojcRK-DIQ3_Kd_2pWm9JTZNbzOJ-LfcVPERQdNaXIcK4rX4tGwnuCXhlA6FsHXR8h00-BmnAx2YFw4P9Sf78J-GqeCAXGXMqzsYVqWBOWsbt9s4wL1hMogBxJfB66Htt5XYums-Ee2ym1gl5u4e3KbR2u0uiIl_5_D2wWW2Pid/s4032/IMG_2783.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A vintage desk with a computer" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYlTH_0ljsRrJUmItyJsojcRK-DIQ3_Kd_2pWm9JTZNbzOJ-LfcVPERQdNaXIcK4rX4tGwnuCXhlA6FsHXR8h00-BmnAx2YFw4P9Sf78J-GqeCAXGXMqzsYVqWBOWsbt9s4wL1hMogBxJfB66Htt5XYums-Ee2ym1gl5u4e3KbR2u0uiIl_5_D2wWW2Pid/w300-h400/IMG_2783.jpeg" title="My Grandfather's Desk" width="300" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My grandfather’s office was the best room in his
house. At least, to me it was. His heavy wooden desk was the centerpiece and it was a beast.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The office was filled with books, papers, and good things that smelled like
education and experience.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">As a child, I would sit in his chair, hands folded on the
desk or holding a pen, acting like I was writing something important just
like him. Turning to my left, the chair swiveled perfectly to the typewriter. </span><i style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Clackety-clack. </i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Sometimes</span><i style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">, </i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I would pretend to write an urgent memo.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">But, his office had a special smell. It smelled like a
life filled with love. It also exuded a smell of adventure with the African art
on the walls or the Indonesian sculptures on the bookshelves; places where
various missionary journeys had taken him and my grandmother.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The sweet smell of aging paper and typewriter ribbon
permeated the room, too. And the way the pencil jar was overflowing with pens
was a little bit of heaven that I wouldn’t know to miss until I wasn’t there to
see it anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Growing up, my sisters and I would spend the night
at our grandparent’s house. Our parents would drop us off for the night, say
their goodbyes, and tell us to expect them the late morning after pancakes and
sausage and a good dose of quality time in the organic garden that sat on the
top of a hill.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">But it wasn’t just the garden, wonderful food, or the
perfect company we loved most. Those were special but it was the mix of everything together simultaneously that made the magic happen. They were the epitome of slow living before it was a movement.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I think we were more excited to leave our parents than our
parents were excited to drop us off. They
were dropping us off at a place that was a combination of a bed and breakfast
and <i><a href="https://amzn.to/49ScZeS" target="_blank">The Secret Garden.</a></i><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">We didn't want to go home.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The rambling, ranch-style house sat on a hilly lot
that my grandfather transformed into a garden of magazine quality. I supposed
it helped that he was the president of his local organic gardening chapter because
it meant the produce was beyond fresh. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It also meant extreme care for cultivating
his crops. He grew corn, beans, peppers, tomatoes, and squash. And he wrote about it in the monthly organic gardening bulletin.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He also had a basement shed filled with preserves
and woodworking tools. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We sisters would sneak down there and watch him: sometimes he’d sand a piece of furniture alongside our grandmother who was bringing up
preserves of sweet pickles or jams.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Grandfather knew music like it was breathing to him: it
was innate as it was life-giving. He knew how to play everything from guitar to
piano to trumpet. A trumpet sat in his office and a guitar and violin in the living room with the piano (on which he gave us lessons). There were also marimbas in the family room, an organ next to it. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">There was no shortage of music.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Looking back on that time, I know I didn’t ask
enough questions. But kids don't know to ask questions about what they don't know. We think time lasts longer because, for kids, it does. "We've only just begun to live," as the song goes. The days are long.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He taught me how to fish. But, I didn't know to ask him what lures to use for trout and bass and why.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn't ask him how he knew how to play so many
instruments or why he refused to be a music leader in the heyday of the ‘40s
music era. He could’ve traveled the world. He could’ve been a famous musician
and bandleader.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn't ask him about his writing. It was as easy for
him to pen a song as it was to pen a sermon. And who gave him the love for
growing organic food? Was it his father, who had migrated across America to
land in the rich soil of central California who taught him?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He lived a thousand lives for one of mine and now I
had questions. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">My paternal grandfather moved in with my parents and my sisters
after my grandmother’s stroke when I was a teenager. It’s interesting to note
the cyclical nature of life. Where my parents once took me to his house to help
pick the fresh corn off the stalks and note the new coffee table he made, he
was now a permanent visitor in our home. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Ultimately, glaucoma took his vision, a stroke took his wife, but nothing could take his spirit.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The writing he once did, the piano lessons he gave me,
became memories; actions that were no longer allowable in his fragile frame. And yet, though his vision may have physically left him, his memory,
thoughts, experiences, and past journeys were all talked about at the dinner
table. We kept the past alive that way though, at the time, it just felt like normal table talk.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The stories he told over my mom’s cannelloni, the
(bad) puns and jokes he threw back and forth with my dad – none of those things changed. He didn’t let the disease change him. I just wish I could go back and
ask him more. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried to appreciate what I could as a child, but what did I know then?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">A few years ago, in my own home, and out of the blue, I smelled his office. The decades-old files and ephemera of
occupations long past sat in deep, mahogany drawers. And that's what the aroma incited: memories.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He's been gone for over twenty years now. After moving that desk to my parent's home when he moved in, when it was my parents' turn to downsize a few years ago, I got the desk. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">This vintage behemoth is now mine to use, appreciate, and hopefully churn out a few things worth reading.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">There's a desktop where a typewriter, stationary, and pens once sat and </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I'm not sure my writing is anywhere near as important as his was, but it sure feels good to be doing what he once did at his desk.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It's like he's still here.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-33667980815559706912024-03-11T09:05:00.000-07:002024-03-11T09:18:54.283-07:00When a Neighbor's Fence Goes Down<p>It's been said that fences make great neighbors.</p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi312uCUhsXhzIxQNI10mu2WHR3uW-DWGBaEEFcCV_Mmt_JVkTLDvpAAgs5aV4NEtYfg8oX0PuXgrNqRUZpyfnAip-fjlnJl0IG_JAAM4ztNsF12ZrJTvuq6tP-KQTbikQeQRIPz3QJs-Kd_JIWgIc5zPXBonk_ozqRq_EncPYX9uh_9L7JTB6WKqVeHMLe/s3995/IMG_2412.jpeg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="An view of a neighbor's yard with part of a fence down" border="0" data-original-height="3995" data-original-width="2782" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi312uCUhsXhzIxQNI10mu2WHR3uW-DWGBaEEFcCV_Mmt_JVkTLDvpAAgs5aV4NEtYfg8oX0PuXgrNqRUZpyfnAip-fjlnJl0IG_JAAM4ztNsF12ZrJTvuq6tP-KQTbikQeQRIPz3QJs-Kd_JIWgIc5zPXBonk_ozqRq_EncPYX9uh_9L7JTB6WKqVeHMLe/w279-h400/IMG_2412.jpeg" title="My Neighbor Helen" width="279" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p>I agree and disagree with this. Fences make great neighbors only because they keep them and their stuff in their space and me and my stuff in my space.</p><p>But, if you're like most neighbors in California, I have met my neighbors once, and rarely speak to them. It isn't because I don't want to, but because we're all too busy to say hello. Or something like that.</p><p>I think it has something to do with the fence situation. The part that's supposed to make me a great neighbor doesn't actually live up to the hype. </p><p>A few weeks ago, after a wild, windy, and rainy storm, a portion of our back fence fell down. It was an overdue scenario for sure. We'd been propping that part of our fence up with two-by-fours for years. It was over forty years old, and the posts rotted out beyond their use. It was time.</p><p>My husband and I walked around to confront our neighbor the following morning, a neighbor we had never met despite the 11 years we've lived here. I remember thinking how pathetic that was of us. Why hadn't we tried to meet them when we first moved in? </p><p>Being busy is a lousy excuse.</p><p>The lady who lived at the house opened her door wide with a smile. She said her name was Helen. She lived alone in her home. She ushered us in, moving like lighting to the kitchen. <i>Good morning, America</i> was blaring from the television, her overhead kitchen table light was something like 300 watts and glaring like the sun.</p><p>"Let me just get the information you need," she said after we told her about the fence. The one nice thing about a shared fence is the shared cost. Neither of us wanted to pay for it, but if it had to be done, a 50% discount is a welcome gesture from the world of home-owning.</p><p>Helen hadn't even noticed the fence was down, bless her heart. She told us she was 90 years old. I didn't believe it. She didn't look a day over 70, but there she was, moving like a young lady and apologizing for her television being too loud. </p><p>She said she was on the <i>Good Morning, America </i>show recently and showed us a picture of her smiling wide with one of the hosts. Helen was proud of herself. I can see why she had the show on as loud as she did while doing the crosswords and drinking coffee. And we had totally interrupted her morning routine.</p><p>I liked Helen. </p><p>How could I live yards away from this lady and never known her until now? The only thing I knew about Helen was her laugh. For years, she would have friends over, sit outside on the patio, and probably have a nice drink alongside them, and we would hear them talk. </p><p>Her laugh filtered over her apple and nectarine trees and into our yard over our orange and lime trees. It always made me smile; it was a heartfelt laugh; loud, not obnoxious, but endearing and attractive. Her laugh made me want to laugh.</p><p>I glanced into her kitchen. She was using mugs that she'd probably owned for over 40 years, too. How would I know this? Because they are the exact same mugs - <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/PerennialVintageShop?ref=seller-platform-mcnav&search_query=mugs" target="_blank">mugs I have sold in my Etsy shop</a> - that I collect and sell and love. Helen was my kind of neighbor.</p><p>She gave us her contact info, and we talked about the weather and other normal things that good neighbors talk about. We walked past her living room on the way back out. There, some of the most beautiful mid-century modern furniture sat, looking like the pages of an issue of <i>Architectural Digest. </i>My husband and I looked at each other. The furniture was stunning.</p><p>Who was this Helen?</p><p>We said our goodbyes and I told her if she needed anything to "walk through the fence and ask. We'd be right there." She laughed and said she would. As we walked home, we talked about her. She was someone we all could aspire to be: kind, youthful, classic, and owned a great laugh.</p><p>The fence is still down but will be repaired next week. When we wake up in the morning, we can see straight through to her kitchen from our kitchen. "Oh look, Helen is up," we say to each other. At dinner, when the four of us, my husband and I and two boys, are all home (which can be a rarity these days), we see her light on in the kitchen and say, "Hey, Helen. Have a great dinner."</p><p>My youngest son said he wished we didn't have to have fences. He loves the way our yard looks with the fence down with different lighting coming through; with a new friend just a short walk away. </p><p>I agree with him. It looks better and feels better. It's the way it's supposed to be. Neighbors should depend on each other and I don't feel as isolated with the fence down.</p><p>Hopefully, as she looks into our yard and kitchen, she doesn't feel alone either.</p><p>Though replacing a fence is never fun, meeting Helen has been the highlight of the whole ordeal. I'll miss seeing her light on from our kitchen; I'll miss saying hello to her in the morning. The good news is I can walk over and talk to her if I want to now. In person. What a novel, neighborly concept.</p><p>Fences make great neighbors. But in our case, and probably in the case of everyone in America, a fence down makes even better neighbors.</p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-23641278987393340482024-03-04T12:08:00.000-08:002024-03-04T12:08:50.482-08:00Blogging My Way Through My Slow Living Life │ Introducing Simply Minimally Blog<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-I_QFLLXY0_1OMTUfAPV3V2JYD9VVlLCXgPRWiQ0i5VZiU30s1vudsLe1IPvYF7Fq5giA-wl6sN1by_YMk0D5yGEZ1fqn_mN9xmtgsP0pcDeBhwqaSO8nMXVzl8tDysqREulfqhdgttqm1fVgYjh9OpcUURBVp-CWMltnGPtciep94qbKjhUEIeEMv6xN/s4032/IMG_2336.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-I_QFLLXY0_1OMTUfAPV3V2JYD9VVlLCXgPRWiQ0i5VZiU30s1vudsLe1IPvYF7Fq5giA-wl6sN1by_YMk0D5yGEZ1fqn_mN9xmtgsP0pcDeBhwqaSO8nMXVzl8tDysqREulfqhdgttqm1fVgYjh9OpcUURBVp-CWMltnGPtciep94qbKjhUEIeEMv6xN/s320/IMG_2336.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>This year is the return to blogging for me.<p></p><p>In case you hadn't noticed. </p><p>Oh, but I'm sure you did. I went from writing constantly (about a decade ago) to writing once every six months. </p><p>My life of raising my boys, as well as work, side-stepped my regular blog posting. But, I've not stopped writing. </p><p>Recently, I baby-stepped back to once-a-month blogging in 2023, and now I'm posting once or twice a week once again. I've come full circle.</p><p>I've had this blog, <i>A Work in Progress</i>, for almost 15 years. This August will mark a decade and a half of <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2009/08/" target="_blank">writing my first post</a>, along with my thoughts about books, writing, and random life events.</p><p>This blog has been therapeutic, a way to keep my writing skills up, and hopefully, an informative place to learn about various things. It's essentially a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_living" target="_blank">slow-living</a> blog. </p><p>Because, over the years, those are the subjects I tend to cover.</p><p>There's writing (that was all I wrote about in the beginning); how to write, what to write, where to write, etc. </p><p>And there are many book review posts. I read a lot, so naturally, they're going to show up in some form here whether it's a brief mention or a mini book review.</p><p>As a freelance writer, I'd be remiss if I didn't write about where I've been published, what's coming out, and what "work in progress" is, you know, in progress. </p><p>Then my family started showing up in random posts, and my vacations, weather, gardening...</p><p>Ta-da. It became a slow-living blog.</p><p>Slow living is about choosing to take a step back from modern-day "go, move, be all, do all" to a "slow down, rest, less is more, return to peace" lifestyle. (Apparently, I've been wanting slow living for the last fifteen years!)</p><p>That's because it's needed. We're all stressed, overworked, and dying from the inside out. Unfortunately, that's a "normal" way to live in our fast-paced culture, but I'm choosing to go against the norm with this blog.</p><p>However, as a freelance writer who also writes a lot about minimalism, I knew I needed a place to post those articles without completely ruining the whole vibe of this blog.</p><p>I've posted a few minimalism pots here and there, even some vintage posts, (which are a part of the slow movement), but it's unfair to dump all of my data about minimalism here when that's not the original intent and focus of the blog</p><p>I want to keep to the slow-living idea behind the blog for all of my readers who've been with me for years.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.simplyminimally.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQrYzJcNdNBKNc9bnzODMRU1hPdvVzWVK0VAp6ZTw7MQzJ5Cyvc6pjTjbxC-FCHp3xnHYKlqtD5jHlBT5lEfMIrhGkVvIgT6gRXTdoANzFf8xw68-SaoxYp7gwxKBEnK8r-e7Lkk5OT2ghI26YoqgZ-R3vp9VGNaEQ0rbr-1S3V68ZcO9oAOl8hg9dD4ia/s320/Neutral%20Earthy%20Brown%20Illustrated%20Feather%20Minimalist%20Boho%20Fashion%20Logo%20(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>All that to say, I now have a blog devoted solely to <a href="https://www.simplyminimally.com/2024/02/what-is-minimalist.html" target="_blank">minimalism,</a> minimalist living, and the minimal lifestyle. <p></p><p>It's called <i><a href="https://www.simplyminimally.com" target="_blank">Simply Minimally.</a> </i></p><p>Right now, posts are once or twice a week. Kind of like here.</p><p>Being a burgeoning minimalist since 2017, and realizing so many other people want to know how it's done, why I do it, and how to continue doing it, it seemed logical and reasonable to begin a new blog. </p><p>It's a little insight and inspiration in minimalism. It's for people like me who need encouragement in this area; a focus they can use in their own lives for personal growth, personal fulfillment, or a much-needed change.</p><p>While I'll still be randomly talking about minimalism here, <i><a href="https://www.simplyminimally.com" target="_blank">Simply Minimally</a></i> is just another avenue of information if you're looking for more about it. I'm not asking you to follow it, but if you're interested in a blog that's solely devoted to minimalism, then hey. And welcome. I have that too.</p><p>Thanks to all of you who read this little blog, <i>A Work in Progress</i>. </p><p>I am still a work in progress, and I always will be, but I'm so glad you're here.</p><p>Here's to slow living, family and friends, beautiful simple things, and a way to bring intentional living to our lives.</p><p><i>-Heather</i></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-14853199721663303902024-02-29T11:57:00.000-08:002024-02-29T14:08:08.192-08:00I'm Done Hurrying │ Choosing to Live a Slow Life Amidst the Chaos<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2lKPmSmAMbjUjPpMN12VowU_GT8VaBzKtqGisOu1qhxr1QglaC2V0grKoNGqckMmDJeVF6non3edxy2Ee58VbJRTyY-VZJXx4wqw9vYqFKI6pJUhjJXJfeqQEC4BnKVj1kdJDzdTsqLOxx-I0OR9qCLEp2LUTRAxj-altnbO6bu1HrKho1ZsArqu4E1Aw/s3478/IMG_1928.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A view of a living room in a home" border="0" data-original-height="3478" data-original-width="2880" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2lKPmSmAMbjUjPpMN12VowU_GT8VaBzKtqGisOu1qhxr1QglaC2V0grKoNGqckMmDJeVF6non3edxy2Ee58VbJRTyY-VZJXx4wqw9vYqFKI6pJUhjJXJfeqQEC4BnKVj1kdJDzdTsqLOxx-I0OR9qCLEp2LUTRAxj-altnbO6bu1HrKho1ZsArqu4E1Aw/w265-h320/IMG_1928.jpg" title="My Living Room" width="265" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Hobbit Home</td></tr></tbody></table>I'm done with hurrying.<br /></p><p>I don't know what the deal is, but there is an epidemic of hurriedness in our society and I'm a part of the problem. It's driving me crazy and I aim to do something about it.</p><p><i>Now! Quickly! While I can!</i></p><p>Okay, see... why is that the first thing I think of? In everything I want to do, whether it's reinstating my blog, unloading the dishwasher, or running errands (all fifteen of them), I don't want to slow down. </p><p>I don't want to take it at a snail's pace. I want it now, and I want it fast. <i>But, why? What is it about doing things slowly that hurts so much?</i></p><p>There are quite a few books on this subject and in fact, my sister-in-law recommended a book to me called <i><a href="https://amzn.to/4bOlZD8" target="_blank">The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry</a></i>. I knew I needed to hurry up and read it as soon as she told me.</p><p>But being that I'm on a no-hurrying kick, I went to my library app (because I don't want to buy the book yet. If it's good and I can't live without it, I may put it on my <a href="https://amzn.to/42Ysv6k" target="_blank">Kindle</a>), and put on a hold to read it. </p><p>It's going to take nine weeks to finally get to me and I've got six weeks left to wait.</p><p>Again, no hurry because that's my aim for the rest of the year.</p><p><i>Or am I just fooling myself?</i></p><p>Before I begin down the rabbit hole of reading more about the "unhurried" lifestyle because that is what I'm after with my <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/02/simple-living-means-less-of-everything.html" target="_blank">slow living</a> and minimalistic lifestyle, I wanted to define (to myself) why I was always in a hurry.</p><p>Unfortunately, when I read a book on any subject, that person's concept, ideas, and even their intent and angle become a part of my angle. I don't try to do this. But the more I read topics that interest me the more it becomes a part of me.</p><p>So, I wanted to contemplate my issue of hurrying before reading about it. <i>Why was I hurrying?</i> If I could identify the parts of hurriedness that surround me - and why I think it needs to be ingrained in my life - then maybe that would help me before reading all the books.</p><p>Here's what I've realized:</p><p><b>I hurry because I'm doing too much. </b>Without a doubt, I underestimate the amount of time it will take to do anything. And in all honesty, I add way too much to my to-do list for the day. It's absurd. <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/simple-ways-to-bring-peace-into-your.html" target="_blank">I've talked about lessening my to-do list </a>before because it's unrealistic to have more than a handful of important things to do every day. It's insanity, actually.</p><p>When I go out sourcing vintage clothing for my <a href="https://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">Etsy shop,</a> I know I'll have to make about eight stops. That sounds egregious. Who does that? But between four thrift stores on my Tuesday sourcing day, I have Target, the post office, and the grocery store thrown in there, plus others. </p><p>Now, I'm choosing the four thrift stores. That's my choice, but it's also my choice to hurry up and get through them. If I want to slow down, take my time, be methodical, and find what I'm looking for, slowing down is imperative. These days, I've gone down to three thrift stores instead, and I'll take out Target if I can get what I need at the grocery store.</p><p>This all sounds supercilious, I'm sure. But when my income is based on what I find to sell, there's an underlying hurriedness (because there are so many other resellers out there doing what I'm doing) and I'm ultimately afraid I won't find what I need because I was too slow getting there.</p><p>But, that's the wrong way to look at it. <a href="https://www.perennialvintagesupply.com/2024/02/thrifting-magazine-mini-review-of.html" target="_blank">There is more than enough to go around</a> and the slower I look, the more I can see what I'm truly looking at. Who am I really in competition with? Certainly not the other fellow vintage resellers. I may think I am, but I'm not. I'm in competition with myself.; I'm trying to prevent scarcity. I want to make sure I have enough.</p><p>But "myself" is unreliable. I'm reading a fabulous book called<i><a href="https://amzn.to/3IkhJhq" target="_blank"> The Scarcity Brain </a> </i>by Michael Easter. I'll have to write a post on this book later but it goes into detail about this and it explains so much of the world and our pacing. </p><p>So, those vintage items have to be searched for. It's a treasure hunt and I love it. But hurrying through the thrift stores wreaks havoc on my nervous system. Slowing down heals it. There's more than enough and I can do less and still get what I need.</p><p><b>I hurry because I don't think I'll have enough time. </b>This is kind of true and kind of not true. Again, I'd have plenty of time if I had a realistic to-do list. I write every day so I have two jobs to fit into my week (vintage and writing) and then the rest of the jobs in the home (cleaning, cooking, etc). If I truly believe I have enough time and make sure I'm not overworking my schedule, I have plenty of time.</p><p>But so often, I'm thinking about my writing schedule while I'm out thrifting for my vintage store and it elevates my anxiety, which in turn kicks me into overdrive. When I realize I'm doing this, I have to force myself to focus only on what's in front of me. I tell myself, "I have plenty of time" and I say this over and over to myself, and get back into the groove of slowing down but staying focused.</p><p>It works well. If I believe I have enough time, I do. If I make sure I'm not overloading my schedule, I'll have time. If I try not to be superwoman, I have time! Less is more. Even when we think we need to do more.</p><p>I'm also used to having kids that needed me. Drive them somewhere, buy them something, make them food, clean something up. They're old now, they don't need most of that anymore, but I'm still hurrying as if they did. I have plenty of time. <i>I have plenty of time.</i></p><p><b>I hurry because I love getting back home. </b>I think this is an introspective, introverted tendency. I love being out, love being social (for x amount of time) and then, I need to get back home. My home is my sanctuary. There's a reason I don't mind doing all of my work at home: <i>I love my home.</i> I'm a Hobbit: I love gardens and books, and the "my precious" for me is working with vintage textiles and writing. </p><p>I feel like Bilbo Baggins and I would've been great friends. (If you haven't read <a href="https://amzn.to/3SYAdZJ" target="_blank">The Hobbit,</a> read it and then <a href="https://amzn.to/49VMXXB" target="_blank">watch the movie</a>.)</p><p>I also hurry so I can come home and do nothing. (I say nothing, but by nothing, I mean reading, resting, and looking at my curated collection of vintage mugs.)</p><p>Regardless, my home will wait for me. Yes, I want to get all of my errands done and get home to pour that coffee so I can write, but hurrying through it (as I've discovered) does nothing for my well-being. Zero good comes from hurrying from place to place.</p><p>If I lessen my daily workload, tell myself I have enough time, and understand that I will get back home at the right time, that immediately calms my heart and slows my gait. I feel so much better. What needs to happen will happen. What's supposed to come to me will come to me. Hurrying through it all does nothing to change those outcomes. There will always be things to do. So, I'm giving it up.</p><p>I'm done hurrying.</p><p>If you're like me, you hurry too. What have you found that works for you? How do you make yourself slow down? Tell me what you do to slow down in the comments below. I'd love to know.</p><p><i>-Heather</i></p><p><b>Books on UnHurrying:</b></p><p><i><a href="https://amzn.to/3SWk1bh" target="_blank">In Good Time: 8 Habits for Reimagining Productivity, Resisting Hurry, and Practicing Peace.</a></i></p><p><i><a href="https://amzn.to/4bOlZD8" target="_blank">The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry</a></i></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/3IhC5HR" target="_blank"><i>Growing Slow: Lessons on Un-Hurrying Your Heart from an Accidental Farmgirl</i></a></p><p><br /></p><p>(As an Amazon Associate, some links are incentivized)</p><p><br /></p><a href="https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/6341523/?claim=yzv8qjq5utu">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-72146282797009410142024-02-19T13:25:00.000-08:002024-03-05T14:43:48.196-08:00Making Time For the Important Things │ Living a Simple Life<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeR7DqWCTAlrbATIXVXum16XVyg3YQmghvB_t0XETV2FkJB1YwlUFAe8BV7vHtijGHYPvaeA3A_TZhR83JjMJ8pyFzBsZ9e3ioUs3GYYAdaNZ6asfGRz-AKly3P17xZPw8bG2CTFP1F4Odmt3AK_U0g1HKC2-3mVMyuwE5INQtw08gijzSKL8DOqqxSuSc/s3707/5C8FA1B5-F2CC-459C-B5D0-80B57C2C41B4%20(1).JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3707" data-original-width="2966" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeR7DqWCTAlrbATIXVXum16XVyg3YQmghvB_t0XETV2FkJB1YwlUFAe8BV7vHtijGHYPvaeA3A_TZhR83JjMJ8pyFzBsZ9e3ioUs3GYYAdaNZ6asfGRz-AKly3P17xZPw8bG2CTFP1F4Odmt3AK_U0g1HKC2-3mVMyuwE5INQtw08gijzSKL8DOqqxSuSc/s320/5C8FA1B5-F2CC-459C-B5D0-80B57C2C41B4%20(1).JPG" width="256" /></a></div> A couple weeks ago, I stood in line outside of a thrift store I frequent waiting for it to open at 9:00.<br /><p></p><p>I'm not sure why there are unwritten rules for this thrift store (none of my Goodwills have this issue) but this thrift store -which is one of the many thrift stores I frequent to source for my <a href="https://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">online vintage shop</a> - has a long line on Tuesdays. They're closed on Sunday and Monday, so I'm sure that's part of it.</p><p>Tuesday is also their sale day and people like me who resell vintage, as well as others - many retired folks looking for a good deal - stand in line waiting for the doors to open. I feel very much like cattle being prodded into a pen. </p><p>I was standing in front of a woman who reminded me of my grandmother. Next to her, was a young man, maybe 25, who was doing his best to ignore both of us. He was there to do what I was doing: sourcing for items to resell. I think I heard him say something about electronics.</p><p>The woman? She was there because she was on a fixed budget and she loved thrifting. I felt like I could relate to both of them.</p><p>She was a talker. She probably needed to talk badly. I assumed her days got long and boring at times and having someone to talk, to because we were stuck in a line, was a dream come true. </p><p>After all, <a href="https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20131112-do-women-talk-more-than-men" target="_blank">women need to talk more than men</a>. Like, three times as much, just to feel good. This lady was living it up and getting in her words as quickly as she could! Who knew when she would have this opportune time again.</p><p>It's no wonder women talk to themselves. It's a part of our physiology and a part of being the phenomenal group of the female species.</p><p>I wondered how much talking this lady took part in for a day, particularly this Monday morning. I also wondered if she stood in line just to talk. Totally understood if she did.</p><p>Throughout the ten minutes we stood, this woman would ask the young man what he was looking for, and then she got onto vintage clothing and specifically mentioned an Eddie Bauer jacket that she still owned. She said she loved that jacket and that things just weren't made the same anymore.</p><p>I could not have agreed more. Vintage is superior to so much of our modern counterparts. </p><p>And I thought about telling her that, but then that would mean answering questions from her, and this young man was doing fine fielding all of the questions.</p><p>I could tell he was a little exasperated with her. He was essentially answering questions from his grandmother. I'm sure he just wanted to put his nose into his phone and ignore her, but he kindly answered each question.</p><p>And kept answering her questions. </p><p>I wanted to congratulate him on being the kindest Generation Z kid I've ever met. But, I didn't want to make him think he was talking to his mother. Being next to your grandmother is one thing, but also your mother? That was a sandwich I'm sure he wanted nothing to do with.</p><p>This day was a great reminder of several things:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Women need to talk. Let them talk. </li><li>Vintage is (almost always) better than modern </li><li>There are young people out there who care... and they care about older people! </li></ul><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I feel like he reinvigorated my trust in younger folks. This young man could have thought he had far better things to do than answer questions from a grandma he didn't know.</p><p>Nevertheless, he let her talk and responded with a sweet reply to each question.</p><p>The thing about living a simple life is this: we get to spend time doing what really matters. Sure, making a living is important. But, that's a small part of our cornucopia of the rich life we're learning to keep.</p><p>This young man was at the thrift store to make money, but he was also being kind, and honest. He let this woman he'd never met before ask him questions and tell him things he would <i>never </i>need to know, and he did it without telling her to leave him alone.</p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilO6jK8GP6Fk7mIj3h5Lkw5H-i4FNkNqBuv8Y0Tqxh8JSVxOrW6v-4cs4MkDKbTPadigYzIeRLd0j_KhFuobSyXM8dLjsqvy3pKQ2_9cEgQyqiHhyuOqP7Es-MJsjSD-TqknkiUT_SVu605HsZRWTiQU80-uy9Pp_7MBeGhyE9yb3ida8EJ_XX43etX904/s1145/IMG_1682.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Grown and Flown Book: For parents with College Age kids" border="0" data-original-height="1145" data-original-width="753" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilO6jK8GP6Fk7mIj3h5Lkw5H-i4FNkNqBuv8Y0Tqxh8JSVxOrW6v-4cs4MkDKbTPadigYzIeRLd0j_KhFuobSyXM8dLjsqvy3pKQ2_9cEgQyqiHhyuOqP7Es-MJsjSD-TqknkiUT_SVu605HsZRWTiQU80-uy9Pp_7MBeGhyE9yb3ida8EJ_XX43etX904/w210-h320/IMG_1682.jpg" title="Grown and Flown Book" width="210" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://amzn.to/3uOMmbn" target="_blank">Grown and Flown Book!</a></td></tr></tbody></table>He was living the tenets of a<a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/what-if-all-i-want-is-simple-life.html" target="_blank"> simple life</a> and I was so proud of him.<p></p><p>He'll never know I heard all of this, or that I cared, but I really did. It was endearing and a beautiful thing to witness.</p><p>Speaking of proud, <a href="https://grownandflown.com/" target="_blank">Grown and Flown </a>(a fabulous website devoted to a range of issues relating to parenting teens and college students) recently published a piece of mine about how I felt when my son told me <a href="https://grownandflown.com/mom-emotions-when-teen-enlists-army/" target="_blank">he wanted to enlist in the Marines</a>. </p><p>My son may not want to do this still (he's a high school senior and is figuring out all of it), but my need to express my thoughts on it oozed out of my heart and onto the proverbial paper.</p><p>I don't need to speak 20,000 words a day but I surely think them. And if I'm especially lucky, I get to write them onto the computer screen for all of you to read.</p><p>But here's what I know: sometimes living a simple life looks like choosing quiet over chaos. Other times, it means listening to a lady you don't know talk to you in line at the local thrift store.</p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-67215275093917243372024-02-13T13:21:00.000-08:002024-02-14T07:13:50.054-08:00Print Books Versus E-Books: Which One is Best?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qI53xlE7V33q0ilnuaQnnhkn2sM_pBGRmz5FAlAF8g1kUE6DzL0PnH5C46420wEHiTWImw_cB9yHZoJ57DaOrpFnTwCwkC5zAXO9Vcaycun1tb1Uv6Ie3lMVcC4lR7VIRrYyHpaR6TZ5IrLjO_fi_OEuodNM4Dw97UxH5uZKht6O5-W2zlpyXYIEfY_o/s4032/IMG_1501.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A stack of books on a book shelf" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qI53xlE7V33q0ilnuaQnnhkn2sM_pBGRmz5FAlAF8g1kUE6DzL0PnH5C46420wEHiTWImw_cB9yHZoJ57DaOrpFnTwCwkC5zAXO9Vcaycun1tb1Uv6Ie3lMVcC4lR7VIRrYyHpaR6TZ5IrLjO_fi_OEuodNM4Dw97UxH5uZKht6O5-W2zlpyXYIEfY_o/w240-h320/IMG_1501.jpg" title="Bookshelf" width="240" /></a></div>Old books, new books, big books, small books. <p></p><p>Dr. Suess could have written a story on the diversity of books and their wonderfulness.</p><p>One of my <a href="https://www.laramvanhulzen.com/" target="_blank">best friends</a> and I talk about books versus e-books a lot. <i>Which one is best? </i></p><p>She and I are both writers. This means we write as much as we read, and we vacillate between using actual physical books and e-books. But we've come to terms with these multi-faceted feelings; sometimes an e-book feels better, and other times we grow weary of the digital page.</p><p>Here's what we always end up saying to each other: "There are days when we have to feel a book in our hands." It's also a way of clarifying that we're not cheating on print books when we choose the e-book.</p><p>I think a small part of us feels guilty for using our e-readers as much as we do. <i>But why?</i></p><p>Books, the smell of books, the look of books, the way books feel in the hand... that's all part of the mystery, charm, and charisma of physical books; I love the pages turning in my fingers. Books are like little blessings you can walk around with.</p><p>These little capsules of paper give us knowledge, wisdom, creativity, and imagination. There are both escapism and reality. </p><p>If we feel like being a part of the physical world, we grab an actual book. If we use our e-readers, <a href="https://amzn.to/3SXjqaw" target="_blank">I use a Kindle </a>(and love it), then that's from which we read.</p><p>So, is there a better choice? </p><p>I'm of the assumption that there's room for both in our society. And it's not about me placing one better than the other, it's about using what works best for me at any particular time.</p><p>When digital books began to take over, there was a huge uproar in the literary world: Real books could become obsolete! <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2019/09/19/physical-books-still-outsell-e-books-and-heres-why.html" target="_blank">But that never happened.</a></p><p>It's true. At first blush, it could seem that if we went the way of digital, why would we ever need physical books again? Because that's just it: we don't need real books. There isn't a need for physical books if we have digital ones.</p><p>And yet, books are still here, still going strong, and threatening to overrun my local Goodwill store!</p><p>As a minimalist, I've pared down my library. I've done this probably once a year for the last seven years. But this year, I really cut off the dead branches and got rid of books that I would never read again. </p><p>Is this extreme? Does this mean I don't love books? Does this mean I'm not a real writer if I don't have a 1000+ book library?</p><p>It could be viewed as extreme, but after paring down books for years, I'm seeing one thing that pulls in front of the book-keeping mystery debate: books are for show. </p><p>They're good as props in decor, and they're good for making your library look fabulous. They're also great for making you look "well-read." But the question I should be asking myself is... am I reading all of my books? </p><p>I equate this to collecting vintage Pyrex. <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/how-to-have-collection-and-still-be.html" target="_blank">I have a collection, it's huge,</a> and I can't use it all at once. But I do use it every day. It's a utilitarian collection which is how (again, in my opinion) collections should be. Use them!</p><p>But, I wasn't even doing this to my books. </p><p>I had a book or two (maybe three) that I would reference over the year, but that was it. If I was being honest with myself, I kept books that I liked, but most of my collection was not books that I <i>loved.</i></p><p>Today, my bookshelves only have books I love. </p><p>Minimalist Joshua Fields Hillburn, who co-authored <i><a href="https://amzn.to/3wemFkV" target="_blank">Everything that Remains: A Memoir by the Minimalists </a></i>(fantastic book, by the way) said this about books: "I thought my books made me somebody - someone important. Ironically though, it was a few quotes from a particular book I owned - Chuck Palahniuk's<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Club-Novel-Chuck-Palahniuk/dp/0393355942/ref=sxts_entity_rec_bsx_s_def_r00_t_aufl?content-id=amzn1.sym.a36c3969-f821-4d5b-a8e8-be129cf4aa4a%3Aamzn1.sym.a36c3969-f821-4d5b-a8e8-be129cf4aa4a&crid=3DDWYEJIMRNVI&cv_ct_cx=chuck+palahniuk&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.daMZA9nxdAmNr4wIGr6e0C1wzqu_XmKxXUqj1Ez_mSuviepD6rpMHqBvwAaPAPdFpjWziHyAS9hK1sXxFswH0A.cV9mvi929p3wFc3EhM1pAcoHpKUc7z53uFHw87jlUk8&dib_tag=se&keywords=chuck+palahniuk&pd_rd_i=0393355942&pd_rd_r=080784a5-6819-43de-8389-99e2db246eb3&pd_rd_w=x2TQa&pd_rd_wg=3TQYy&pf_rd_p=a36c3969-f821-4d5b-a8e8-be129cf4aa4a&pf_rd_r=QMBX0MJQ2GYB4BNZZTPN&qid=1707858318&s=books&sprefix=chuck+pal%2Cstripbooks%2C171&sr=1-1-ef9bfdb7-b507-43a0-b887-27e2a8414df0" target="_blank"> Fight Club </a></i>- that inspired me to start getting rid of some of my books ... 'Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions,' and 'The things you own end up owning you.' Both quotes kind of woke me up."</p><p>If I truly love the book, that's what only needs to be on my shelves. So if real books aren't needed, does that mean I'll never buy a real book again?</p><p>Probably not. I love libraries, I love bookstores: I love the smell of books. There is no way I'll ever not want some print books in my life. </p><p>I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but there's something monumental about a paperback purchased from an airport that a digital book will never convey.</p><p>What I do know is having a digital option has simplified my life tremendously. I only have the physical books I love or books I collect (The <a href="https://amzn.to/3UIyTMT" target="_blank"><i>Great Gatsby</i> </a>is one of my favorites. I have a few editions, some vintage, some new and I'm okay with that.) But my bookshelves aren't filled up with frivolous reads.</p><p>This simplification continues because I primarily purchase digital books or check out digital books from my library. <i>But that doesn't mean I don't love a good physical book. </i></p><p>If I read a book that I'll need to reference in the future, I would much prefer a print book. Sometimes, I just don't want to reference a book on a digital device; I want to find it in my hands.</p><p><a href="https://www.tonerbuzz.com/blog/paper-books-vs-ebooks-statistics/" target="_blank">Stats say that most people like books and even prefer them.</a> In the digital age we live in, that's a beautiful thing to read. Digital is easy, it's instant, and it's everywhere my phone goes (I use the Kindle app on my phone to read too).</p><p>Despite the ease of e-books, I still love a book in my hand. There is pure joy in holding a book, something to tote around; the book you dig into in the doctor's office waiting room.</p><p>Whatever you choose, even if you go back and forth like I do, I'd suggest only keeping books you really love. There's nothing like going to your bookshelves, looking at all the titles, and smiling knowing each one is there because you truly love them. They give a tangible joy that digital books can't give. </p><p>(But, I love my <a href="https://amzn.to/4btTaf4" target="_blank">Kindle also.</a>)</p><p>The books in my library, whether print or digital, are both intentional and ones I adore. In the end, that's all that matters to me. </p><p>Digital book, physical book, ebook, print book. </p><p>Dr. Suess didn't break it down for us, but he didn't need to. There is no right or wrong way to read. It comes down to what you want and what works best for you. </p><p>Happy reading!</p><p><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-81735466045706139402024-02-09T09:16:00.000-08:002024-02-09T09:38:14.004-08:00Gratitude Creates Change<div><b>How Writing Down One Grateful Thing a Day Changed My Life</b></div><p>For all of 2023, I decided to write down one thing that I was grateful for at the end of every day.</p><p>We've all heard of this helpful hint to improve our lives; to use gratitude to remind ourselves how good we have it; to write down ten things we're grateful for every day, or to write down five things that made the day wonderful; keep a gratitude journal.</p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXLocrSM_YL9WGs6UYXN8PM06Ok2coO_IqACCHmBIs5C9fyacNnM9r0ADcRRD21WHUtsFCjyznK7DeGjB4sGA16F2VLxNSa7WZ0vXqNpIfUY4jq2sEF6srLFKFTTgIfDSNZR4BsqxJWLPAuLb0TvRYkrAQs7MTN7ZAR0W9KJV-YUGYGGAQd262g2VQD0D/s4032/IMG_1377.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A journal with a pen" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXLocrSM_YL9WGs6UYXN8PM06Ok2coO_IqACCHmBIs5C9fyacNnM9r0ADcRRD21WHUtsFCjyznK7DeGjB4sGA16F2VLxNSa7WZ0vXqNpIfUY4jq2sEF6srLFKFTTgIfDSNZR4BsqxJWLPAuLb0TvRYkrAQs7MTN7ZAR0W9KJV-YUGYGGAQd262g2VQD0D/w240-h320/IMG_1377.jpg" title="Journal and pen" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p>I understand the concept. And I fully endorse it.</p><p>But, for reasons I couldn't explain, I never "found the time" (i.e. wasn't willing to put in the time) to write them down. </p><p>I am a grateful person. I am beyond thankful every day for the life I get to live, to do what I love, and to have my family with me. Life is good. I mean, really good.</p><p>But I decided to change the rules up a little. Instead of making things harder on myself, and writing yet another list, I decided to keep things simple. <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/what-if-all-i-want-is-simple-life.html" target="_blank">Simple living is my daily intention.</a></p><p>For 2023, I wrote down one thing I was thankful for in my day planner - you know, the old-school way of looking at the schedule and planning the day - and that was it. One thing.</p><p>This day planner of mine acts as a calendar as well as my to-do list. I try to keep my to-do list short because as I've talked about before, writing more than I can handle is absurd. I can't do it all and even if I wanted to, my day ends and my energy runs out before I have the chance to check everything off.</p><p>But... when it came to gratitude, I knew I needed to find a way to record the good things in my life. I wanted a way to look back at all the good things that happened in one year. Life had to be more than checking things off a list.</p><p>Journals are for long writing, and that's not what I wanted. I needed something that I could quickly add to my grateful line in my planner and settle down to read and drink tea for the night. </p><p>I decided my day planner was the perfect place. </p><p>So after writing my to-do list the night before for the subsequent day, and writing in calendar events, at the end of the day, I would add in my grateful bit.</p><p>But, I decided to put a spin on this gratitude thing. I decided to up the ante - raise the stakes, so to speak - and instead of writing "grateful thing of the day" I wrote "miracle" and proceeded to fill in the blank.</p><p>It wasn't that I was just grateful for this good thing, I certainly was. But I wanted to treat it like a miracle. </p><p>Often things happen in our lives that are good, beautiful, kind, sweet, and crazy awesome. But, what about if I called these little things miracles? Would that open my eyes to what my life truly was?</p><p>So, I began treating all the good things that came to me as miracles. Because, let's be real here, in our world of doom and gloom, and of negativity everywhere we turn, I needed some good. I yearned for miracles. I wanted to relearn to see the good that should be prominent before me.</p><p>Here's a short list of things I listed as miracles that were a part of my "writing down one grateful thing a day" journey:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Found a dime</li><li>Talked with one of my best friends on the phone</li><li>It rained!</li><li>I sold something in my Etsy shop</li><li>A magazine picked up an article of mine</li><li>I ate dinner out</li><li>Someone complimented me on my outfit</li><li>I drank a great cup of coffee</li><li>Finished a superb book</li></ul><p>As you can see, most of these are simple things. Extremely simple.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-YpvCiDX0IGCkBWoSp_e0pUtd3i_MZdtWeBP85ODYG0BJaC59hR_cVkXN5kqKREUxWs8SjUvWpKvXzKp81d917xQaDIAEOBgAKYdoAV-Od7Z84jC1OJHYmN9-AcSlOFEMSldeo9-Ze7Zw0IBDxK73WuSn0BrSpd_kXQbdV4KUzvSljNh5Mz1BBSx3jrB/s4032/IMG_1378.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="An open planner with a pen and a to-do list" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-YpvCiDX0IGCkBWoSp_e0pUtd3i_MZdtWeBP85ODYG0BJaC59hR_cVkXN5kqKREUxWs8SjUvWpKvXzKp81d917xQaDIAEOBgAKYdoAV-Od7Z84jC1OJHYmN9-AcSlOFEMSldeo9-Ze7Zw0IBDxK73WuSn0BrSpd_kXQbdV4KUzvSljNh5Mz1BBSx3jrB/w240-h320/IMG_1378.jpg" title="To-do list" width="240" /></a></div>So, why did I have to get to this point to remind myself that everything good that happens is <i>really </i>good? Yes, a big event is worthy of celebration but so is the sun peaking out on a rainy day, or the sound of birds chirping in my orange tree.<p></p><p>After a year of compiling my daily miracles, I could see that many good things happened to me <i>all the time</i>. The big miracles are no better than the small miracles.</p><p>And by paying attention to what I appreciated, or what good thing was directed to me, I began to take notice of so many things I took for granted. Waking up with breath in my lungs, the ability to hear, to smell, to see, or to feel the wind on my skin.</p><p>Just because these are things we experience daily doesn't make them any less miraculous.</p><p>My little miracles leveled the playing field of grand miracles.</p><p>Getting my autoimmune disease under control is a huge miracle. But so is finding a $5 bill in the pants pocket of a vintage piece of clothing I'm selling. They're equal to me. <i>Because that's how I need to view it.</i></p><p>The size of the miracle is irrelevant. Paying attention to the miracle is what matters; that I'm seeing it, aware of it, and am thankful for it.</p><p>When we see how good we have it, it puts the negative in our lives into perspective. It unfetters us to the confines we've put on our lives- thinking they should be one way when they've gone another.</p><p>I feel like this has transformed my life - like I'm really getting to see what's happening around me. By paying attention to the small good things, I'm making room for more tiny miracles. Seeing and acknowledging small good things begets more small good things.</p><p>Being thankful allows us to be free to be who we are <i>supposed </i>to be: grateful human beings with tiny miracles happening all over the place.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-47082642006657951812024-02-05T12:06:00.000-08:002024-02-06T12:51:59.611-08:00Simple Living Means Less of Everything<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPu-rJLQ2gN0o4SDxBNJIP6a54L-yN36GjIIT2SCJdAVek1R_Js6qJPFFPhH_VpPg4MSiX3cOiYCgbg4jWKFi1U3JK-kW1PHzE1kHyUshD8hRpTglr99UVf0osHwiSPfBZ6W9NczqTAk-zBLhh69GSY5PGeqSbtayW7yEmlNfwBSxNBXg9vWcZYItW6KN/s4032/IMG_4749.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Arial view from the wing of a plane" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPu-rJLQ2gN0o4SDxBNJIP6a54L-yN36GjIIT2SCJdAVek1R_Js6qJPFFPhH_VpPg4MSiX3cOiYCgbg4jWKFi1U3JK-kW1PHzE1kHyUshD8hRpTglr99UVf0osHwiSPfBZ6W9NczqTAk-zBLhh69GSY5PGeqSbtayW7yEmlNfwBSxNBXg9vWcZYItW6KN/w240-h320/IMG_4749.jpg" title="View from the plane" width="240" /></a></div>Peace can be elusive. When we're stressed, it's the furthest thing from reach. <p>Naturally, we look for ways to relieve the stress that surrounds our lives - whether that stress is from jobs, family life, relationships, or even our own thoughts. </p><p>The car breaks down, the fence blows over in a storm (this just happened to us yesterday ), or an unexpected surgery threatens to sabotage our state of mind. Maybe a lifelong friend no longer wants to talk to you.</p><p>Life is stressful. </p><p>But, when we accept life is stressful, it allows us to let go of wanting control (albeit, even if only a little). We learn to develop a "laissez-faire" attitude, which means letting things take their own course. </p><p>It's a hands-off, come-what-may-approach to the things we don't have control over. Things such as other's actions and random events we can't foresee, even "acts of God."</p><p>But, other than the obvious relinquishing of control, some things cause stress in our lives that we <i>do have direct control over.</i></p><p>When big stress came to me a few years ago, the only way I knew I could deal with the stress was by getting rid of the stressors<i> I did have control over.</i> When you gain an auto-immune disease that doctors can't fix, it tends to encourage the search for a cure. This happened to me and by changing my diet, and destressing everything I had control over, I stopped the disease in its tracks.</p><p>I did it by lessening my responsibility load as much as I could. Here's what I did:</p><p><b>Got rid of excess work:</b> I've talked about this before. I had four jobs. That was way too much to handle. Instead, I pared down to the two I loved most: writing and <a href="https://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">vintage</a>. As is the goal with <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2023/12/five-ways-to-maintain-minimalism-when.html" target="_blank">minimalism </a>and <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/simple-ways-to-bring-peace-into-your.html" target="_blank">slow living</a>, I pared down to love. While I learned much from my other two jobs, I was choosing this stress; forcing myself to work what I didn't love, which exacerbated my frustration at not getting to do what I loved.</p><p><b>Got rid of excess social media: </b>This one seems so counterintuitive, but having had social media <a href="https://minimalism.com/journal/socially-without" target="_blank">(and living without it for a couple months),</a> having less to look at is a great way to reduce stress. Sure, it's entertainment, but when social influencers are pitching their latest "like" and let's be honest, they're pitching it so we will buy it, it contributes to a way of life not conducive to peace. Seeing more means we want more which means we own more. Get rid of that temptation, cut out as much social media as you can, keeping only what brings you peace and value. Unfollow influencers. Best decision I've ever made.</p><p><b>Got rid of excess clothing: </b>Again, the closet is a maw for stress. Get rid of the clothes you don't wear, and create a stressless way to start each day. Imagine getting out of bed and not having to think about what to wear, or having to say to yourself, "I have nothing to wear." If you love what you have, every day is a great day to wear your wardrobe. Eliminate excess, keep only what you love, and you've just eliminated daily stress.</p><p><b>Got rid of excess stuff (in every closet and cupboard):</b> This coincides with your closet purging. When I was stressed, going through the excess stuff I didn't use became therapeutic. I was able to purge closet after closet, donate it to people who will use it, and allowed me to focus on getting well. When my self-imposed stress of having stuff I never used was evicted from my house, peace returned. I was the landlord of my own mind once again.</p><p>This slow living is a way of life I've adopted over the years because it ameliorated the stress that was showing up in my body. Less stuff in the house means less stress in my mind, which means stress is leaving my body. It means less of everything. And I've never felt better, even amidst the constant stressors that life throws my way.</p><p>There's a Psalm that says what I feel. "...do something good. Embrace peace - don't let it get away!" (Psalm 34:14, NIV).</p><p>If we want peace, if we want to regain control over the things we've let go (because we thought we needed these things), give simple living a chance. And don't let it get away.</p><p>Give the life of living intentionally a real chance and you'll find chaos diminishes like smoke.</p><p>This doesn't mean life isn't going to be hard. It is hard and always will be. There will continually be a mountain to climb up as soon as you've drifted down a different one.</p><p>But, when we eliminate the things that only add to the stress, we find life becomes manageable again. Most of all, we find life enjoyable. </p><p>When that happens, peace returns. Less stuff (work, social media, and things in our home) makes living the way it's supposed to be and a return to the simple life our heart and soul craves.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /><a href="http://perennialvintage.com">vintage</a></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-89040394913256841762024-02-01T07:55:00.000-08:002024-02-01T07:55:44.210-08:00The Power of a Quiet Life<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZGBqlVn6af05yGMzb1KxNvrM81NJS2LBEQ_8ABPnwVB5DrItznZuEXvmfYiRPglq7yecldfMTy7qANH7ldPor9qmxiCTa_ybJlMOPH3wZSCEvJMeZnxvGC8hBG6r23XZN5NUVmjrhgl_yu6cEQMRZmvCWjt-0xH97RfC2dxvJVsPzmbMXcTfaTevowuW9/s3911/IMG_9326.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A view of a window and the inside of a room that looks quiet and peaceful." border="0" data-original-height="3911" data-original-width="2933" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZGBqlVn6af05yGMzb1KxNvrM81NJS2LBEQ_8ABPnwVB5DrItznZuEXvmfYiRPglq7yecldfMTy7qANH7ldPor9qmxiCTa_ybJlMOPH3wZSCEvJMeZnxvGC8hBG6r23XZN5NUVmjrhgl_yu6cEQMRZmvCWjt-0xH97RfC2dxvJVsPzmbMXcTfaTevowuW9/w240-h320/IMG_9326.jpg" title="A Quiet Room" width="240" /></a></div>I love Friday nights at home with a movie or a book, and my family alongside me. I also happen to love Friday nights when both my sons and husband are at work and I’m home alone. Whether alone or with people, the constant thing I yearn for is quiet living. <br /><p></p><p>Choosing a quiet life isn’t a popular choice, nor is it spouted as truth even if everyone over the age of 35 feels this way. You couldn’t pay me now to start the evening at 10:00 pm. I’m in my pajamas and socks as soon as dinner is over in my house.</p><p>There are times when a “wild” night out is necessary, which means we eat dinner at a restaurant at 7:00 pm and my husband and I might be out until the wee hours of 9:00 pm. </p><p>I also love being with friends and family, and there are times when I desperately need to be with people. I’m not by any means antisocial. The community and fellowship feed a deep longing that being alone can’t fulfill. I also love musical theater, ball games, and parties.</p><p>But, as I’ve gotten older, I’m finding most of the time, it’s the quiet rather than the chaos that resonates with me. I’m not just talking about a loud room, or a concert, or a noisy atmosphere. I’m talking about a quiet life in general. It’s the lessening of social media, <a href="https://courtneycarver.com/" target="_blank">the fewer items in the closet</a>, fewer events attended, and ridding my surroundings of all excess so that I can focus on my soul’s desires.</p><p>As I’ve learned to embrace the slower life without apology - and with the intent to truly enjoy what I love - I’ve found power in a quiet life. And the attributes that create this quiet have resulted in an effective and wonderful life.</p><p><b>I’m doing things that matter.</b></p><p>The best thing about living a quiet life is the ability to hunker down and do the things that matter. As I choose a <a href="https://nosidebar.com/7-habits-of-highly-effective-minimalists/">minimal way of living</a> in every part of my home and life, it allows me to see if what I’m doing is helping or hurting me. Will scrolling endless hours on social media help the quality of my life? Does shopping aimlessly help to keep my life quiet or only add to the noise of an overstuffed closet? </p><p>When I choose the quiet life, like turning off the television and writing a letter, it makes me feel like I’ve added meaning to my life. At the end of the day, things that matter do matter.</p><p><b>I’m free to do what I love.</b></p><p>The power in my quiet life is about doing things I love. When it comes to keeping a quiet life, it means I’m choosing to read, play the piano, take a walk in my neighborhood rather than shop at the mall, peruse online clothing catalogs, or take a selfie to post on social media. </p><p>A quiet life means I’m doing what I love without the need to do what others think I should love. I’m taking a yoga class because it feels good, rather than doing the latest exercise craze. My quiet life helps to dictate my freedom. And that I love, too.</p><p><b>I can keep my anonymity.</b></p><p>In our social-media-crazed world, where telling everyone everything all the time is normal, there is such power in taking that action back. I don’t need to post what I’m eating, where I’m going, or what I look like every day. </p><p>We’re so used to doing and seeing this that when we take a step back from social media - posting or scrolling - there’s almost a visceral reaction to it. We can feel the superfluity of the TikTok or Instagram worlds. There’s power in anonymity and joy in taking a respite from the social media life. There is freedom in the choice of anonymity.</p><p><b>I can hear what’s happening.</b></p><p>It’s said that to be a good conversationalist <a href="https://hbr.org/2021/12/how-to-become-a-better-listener">you need to be a good listene</a>r. If the world around me is too loud, how do I listen? When I intentionally choose quiet actions, rather than loud ones, it opens up a dialogue that I desperately need to hear. With quiet, I can hear the nudge of my heart, I can feel the needs of my soul.</p><p>There are various pressures in all of our lives, so being able to make the right decision as problems, situations, and life events arise, allows us to make the most educated choices. When I hear what’s happening, I can keep my life on the track I <i>want and need </i>to be on.</p><p><b>I can hear what isn’t said.</b></p><p>Much like reading between the lines, sometimes life is talking to us but we can't hear it. Sometimes, we need to slow down, but we don’t because we can’t differentiate the chatter. The loudest voice is always heard the most audible. To hear the quiet, soft voice of truth, we need to understand that truth speaks gently.</p><p>I remember my youngest son was having trouble in school. He loved his classes but was frustrated by their size and the inability of his teachers to focus on his needs. He told me this, but the loud “voice” of keeping him in school with his friends spoke over the quiet truth.</p><p>It took me a year, but I finally got rid of the noise and listened to him. He was miserable! So, we pulled him from the school he’d been in for almost 10 years and put him in a charter school that resolved his frustrations. His happiness returned, his grades improved, and everything felt better. Sometimes, the most truthful things speak the quietest.</p><p>While the quiet life may not be the most popular way to live, that doesn’t matter to me anymore. Doing what is right for my body, soul, and spirit has become my top priority. To live a quiet life in a loud world, I have to consistently remind myself to turn down the loudness and implement the quiet as I embrace the <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/simple-ways-to-bring-peace-into-your.html">slow living lifestyle. </a></p><p>It’s not always easy, but let me tell you… my Friday nights are just the way I like them.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-20515105961081285352024-01-29T08:20:00.000-08:002024-01-29T08:20:01.149-08:00My Favorite Things: How to Let Go of the Things You Don't Need (but think you do!)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space-collapse: preserve;">In every minimalist’s life, there is an area where they are vulnerable to denial; an area where minimizing a specific object isn’t just hard, but horrifying.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; text-align: left; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> <br /></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; text-align: left; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I am a victim of this. </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; text-align: left; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Or rather, maybe I am not so much a victim as I am a participant in my justification.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; text-align: left; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div><span id="docs-internal-guid-927ead38-7fff-7e0e-5c7b-cf4180c9e565"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij5fWvMRywFja0ht1iOoMRy7_kuPKcQ78_8hSVml003lkjR1Nbv2z-d5bSQhVRzLE0v9SeXEbykGWcl-EVsIZNGzP-0WK_FxrbdNbYyXJ9wARCsqKUeEnokTGeleiyG4SP7wBEwjzolK1xRYFrEaMUkQJJ6kHANHEYXEQ12uUZilIYRh-5IODkgpA47stO/s3219/IMG_1095.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A rack of shoes" border="0" data-original-height="3219" data-original-width="2724" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij5fWvMRywFja0ht1iOoMRy7_kuPKcQ78_8hSVml003lkjR1Nbv2z-d5bSQhVRzLE0v9SeXEbykGWcl-EVsIZNGzP-0WK_FxrbdNbYyXJ9wARCsqKUeEnokTGeleiyG4SP7wBEwjzolK1xRYFrEaMUkQJJ6kHANHEYXEQ12uUZilIYRh-5IODkgpA47stO/w270-h320/IMG_1095.jpg" title="Shoe collections" width="270" /></a></div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Minimalists may be organized, decluttered, and thoroughly downsized, but there’s always one area that is heartbreaking to maintain.</span></span><div><span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">For me, it’s shoes. Shoes are my kryptonite. And if I’m being extra transparent, it’s also jackets and belts. But, my biggest love (when it comes to my closet) is shoes.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I counted my shoes once (several years ago) and I think it was 65. Which to some, may be a lot. To others, it may be just a drop in the bucket. Regardless, I had all of these amazing shoes; shoes I swore I loved – all of them. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">But here’s the kicker about my kicks: I only wore a handful of them, probably a dozen or less, every year. Out of 60, I wore 12 regularly. (There were a few that I wore once or twice a year and the rest were worn on an average of once a year). That’s a 20% wear rate. This tends to be the hard rule when it comes to our closets: we only wear 20% of our things 80% of the time.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Boots, sandals, flats, heels, you name it: it was (and still is) a huge love in my life. While my closet is pared down to bare bones these days (meaning, I love to wear and </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">do</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> wear everything in my closet), shoes are the one thing on which I pull the <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2023/12/five-ways-to-maintain-minimalism-when.html" target="_blank">minimalism brakes </a></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2023/12/five-ways-to-maintain-minimalism-when.html" target="_blank">hard</a></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2023/12/five-ways-to-maintain-minimalism-when.html" target="_blank">.</a> </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">It’s not that I didn’t want to pare down, it’s that I loved having so many choices. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">But once I came clean with myself and admitted my sin of omission (that shoes didn’t count in my minimalism journey) I began to slowly - that is the key word when it came to my weakness,</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> slowly</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> – donate, sell, or toss the ones that got little to no wear.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Here are a few pointers on how I was able to pare down (but still maintain) my love affair with shoes. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Take it slow -</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> As I mentioned before, getting rid of my shoes was a prolonged process. I’d go into my closet and omit a few, then let it be. Another season would pass, and I’d get rid of a few more. It took me years to get down to what mattered in my shoe stash. I’m still paring down. This is the last item in my closet to be decluttered. As I said, it’s my favorite thing, and letting go is a </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">slow </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">process… and that’s okay!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Get rid of duplicates - </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This is an easy one to implement. I had several pairs of black flats, several pairs of brown flats, several boots of the same color, etc. Duplicates were all over my shoe piles. And when I looked at the duplicates in more depth, I realized I wore one pair far more than the other duplicates. I put the copies into the donation pile that can now go to someone who will wear them.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Try them on - </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This one makes me laugh, but I have had numerous pairs of shoes and sandals, heels, and boots that do not fit me. At the time I bought them, I figured I’d “work” them in and then they’d fit right. Nope. They never did. I learned to make sure shoes fit right </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">first </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">so that I wasn’t just throwing money down the drain. If you have shoes in your closet that don’t fit, stop torturing yourself (and your feet) and toss them! Time won’t change the size of your feet.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Focus on the now (not the what-if)</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">-</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> I think many women are guilty of this one: we buy beautiful shoes in the hopes we will get to wear them in the future! Can I just tell you how many shoes I’ve owned that fit this category? Tons! Either the opportunity never came, or the event did, and I wore the shoes once. Then they sat abandoned in my closet. I was focused on the “what if” future event rather than living in the now, with shoes I could be wearing (not hoping to wear). I’ve adjusted my delusions of grandeur and only buy shoes when I know I’ll need them.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Be realistic -</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> This goes with the above category. Be realistic. You’ve got two feet, with only so many places to visit. The odds are good you’ll favor one pair over many others, and regret purchasing the others that never get worn. I can attest to this. I went on a tropical vacation a few months ago. I brought six pairs of sandals. Guess how many I wore regularly that week? One! (and a pair of flip-flops) Yes, just one. I was angry at myself for overpacking. Less is so much more. Not to mention, it’s less expensive.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">While I don’t have 65 pairs of shoes anymore, I have lessened my shoe load to about 25 which is still a lot – and yes, I’m working on lessening it to the main 12 or so I wear regularly. I am a full-fledged minimalist and I still can’t pair down to the 12 I know I wear! Change takes time.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Author </span><a href="https://bemorewithless.com/" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Courtney Carver </span></a><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">goes into deep detail about minimalizing the clothing closet in her book </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Project 333. </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I’d highly recommend this book to any minimalist lover needing a little help with their closet (and shoes). While I'm not that extreme of a minimalist in my closet, (I enjoy fashion too much for that), she speaks relevant truth about how to truly keep what we love and how we wear it. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The process of minimalism on items we love is a journey. It took me decades of accumulating shoes, so it’s going to take me time to pare down to what I love. The same may be true for you. Your "weakness" could be something totally different from what someone else's is. It could be cookbooks, plastic containers, rubber bands, or t-shirts. Remember to take things slowly, be kind to yourself, eliminate duplicates, try on what you have -or find out if you use what you have, - focus on where you are today, and be realistic: good changes take time. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">With a little time and the goal of being someone who uses what they have (<a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2023/12/five-ways-to-maintain-minimalism-when.html">even if your family isn't a part of this process</a>), you too will be able to let go of some of your favorite things you don’t need, wear, or use - even if you think you do.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">-HJS</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></p><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span></div>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-49358837439344174002024-01-26T08:53:00.000-08:002024-01-27T07:07:39.233-08:00What if All I Want is a Simple Life?<p></p><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66Xzv17C32LvzYTeRLoin6vSUY53H_otG_PvtAzykH60LZjYzh77V_XRXPkTUVk6ta3yL9MYsqGZ9yswbiE4oq1gM072ojY1nDWL7ZeFnrc-d8Ybr4tEQQn_8lAQjxR4K3hx6bX6xer8Le43FxVIYS3_Eh85yNZQ7O6bU0Q5g-U9QyDuiI_DfdTasdZvI/s3780/98EC3DBF-8610-4674-B600-BD3E8F6A4F7E.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A rocking chair, and bookshelf by a fireplace" border="0" data-original-height="3780" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66Xzv17C32LvzYTeRLoin6vSUY53H_otG_PvtAzykH60LZjYzh77V_XRXPkTUVk6ta3yL9MYsqGZ9yswbiE4oq1gM072ojY1nDWL7ZeFnrc-d8Ybr4tEQQn_8lAQjxR4K3hx6bX6xer8Le43FxVIYS3_Eh85yNZQ7O6bU0Q5g-U9QyDuiI_DfdTasdZvI/w256-h320/98EC3DBF-8610-4674-B600-BD3E8F6A4F7E.JPG" title="A simple life" width="256" /></a></div>There's a viral minimal lifestyle post I've read a couple of times that I keep seeing reposted among the simple living community and it's called </span><a href="https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/want-mediocre-life/" style="text-decoration-line: none; text-decoration: none;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">"What if All I Want is a Mediocre Life?"</span></a> <br /><div><br /><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Read it if you have a chance. It is well-written and full of validating words that, for me, explained exactly what I was feeling about my lifestyle. What if I'm not the best of the best? What if I love living my simple life? Am I a bad person for not wanting to look like I'm perfect or the way this “perfection” is portrayed on social media?</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">My biggest hangup in this article though is the word mediocre. According to </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4967070338672067994/4935883743934417400#" style="text-decoration-line: none; text-decoration: none;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Dictionary.com,</span></a><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> mediocre means "of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate" and the second meaning is "not satisfactory; poor; inferior." </span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Hold on a second... barely adequate? Poor and inferior? Since when have I ever wanted to write something that was barely adequate? Never. Since when was I interested in living my daily life as one that is poor and inferior? Not a once. Mediocre is not a comforting word, which is why this title rubs me the wrong way.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I understand her context though. It’s the question, “Am I good enough just the way I am?” Most people question themselves about this aspect. Am I good enough and do I have to do more to feel like I am truly good enough? </span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Mediocre isn’t the word I'm driving for. It’s simplicity. I'm not into only giving of myself partially in all that I do, or how I keep my house, or how I dress or live, or raise my kids. I'm not into living halfway, or only partially well done. </span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">But, I am into living a simple life that doesn't need to be the best or have the best. I don’t need to be number one. I’m not interested in appearing like I’m put together with the nicest home and most well-behaved children when I’m actually in debt to my eyeballs and my children are disasters.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">(I’m happy to report we aren’t in debt up to our eyeballs. I have the goal to pay off our mortgage in close to four years, and my full-grown sons are the opposite of disasters. I couldn’t be more proud of them.)</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">If I had to write an article about a mediocre life, and I suppose that's what I'm doing, I'd ask myself: What if I'm happiest living a </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">simple</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> life? What does it look like, for people like me, who strive to live a simple life? The kind of life whose </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4967070338672067994/4935883743934417400#" style="text-decoration-line: none; text-decoration: none;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">primary ambition is to lead a </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">quiet</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> life</span></a><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">?</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">It's not flashy or fancy. But, it's not of moderate quality either. It’s one filled with joy, peace, and extreme satisfaction. This is what my simple life looks like; the one I’m aiming for when I ask myself “What if all I want is a simple life?”</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">1. I don't need a blog with the highest following.</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> Of course, I'd love to have a small, honest following, but I'm happy with that. If I can help one person destress their life, then my work is done. Just getting to write, and having my voice heard, is like winning a writing lottery for me. I’m not accepting I own a mediocre blog. I am accepting that I am happy with a simple and informative blog that tells people what they want to know.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">2. I don't need social media with the hugest following.</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">For a small time in my life, having a following was important. It isn't now. It just seems horrifically painful to keep that up. I'd rather have a group of quality friends who I follow and follow me than a profile with gobs of unknown followers whom I don’t need to try to impress. Less is so much more.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">3. I don't need to work a job outside of what I love.</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> I'd rather make little money doing what I love than make a lot doing something I dread or despise. I’ve been on the other side, working and doing things that drained me. I’m back to doing what I love, no matter the income. I understand not everyone has this privilege - I’m blessed to get to do this, and we’ve also rearranged our spending and lifestyle habits to accommodate this.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">4. I don't need to keep up with my neighbors</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">No need for the biggest home, or the flashiest new car. That seems like an insurmountable stress that will stay with me until my dying day if I engage in that futile effort. I love my simple but beautiful home, car, clothing, and lifestyle. And at this point in my life, no one can tell me otherwise. I didn’t use to feel this way but now that I’ve embraced the minimal, simple, slow life, it’s flipped my thinking. It’s the best way to live. There is no pressure to live beyond my means or for someone else’s visual stimulation.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">5. I don't need to buy new (thrift instead). </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This isn’t always the case, but it sure is often in my house. Did the can opener break? Check the thrift store first. Did my luggage fall apart? Check the thrift store first. Many times, I don’t find what I’m looking for. But many times, because I’m willing to be thrifty, I find what I need for a fraction of the price. Being a good steward of my money is more important to me than having a name-brand item. Besides, that’s money I can use to pay off the mortgage sooner.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">6. I don't always need to eat out.</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This one is hard. Everyone loves a good meal out. But we have a refrigerator and a small freezer in the garage filled to the brim with food. While there’s a time to go out and enjoy spending money at a restaurant, there is also the joy of simply using what we have. A simple eating plan means I’m not mediocre about my meals, but happy to have a simple taco Tuesday night. It also means rib eye steaks when I find a good deal. Simple not mediocre.</span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Owning and enjoying a simple life doesn’t mean I don't want nice things, but it means my goal to enjoy the life I have is <i>more important than trying to obtain the goal of living a life that was never intended for me</i>. And that is a simple life worth choosing and fighting to keep. </span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">For me, it means peace. It means not spending money I don’t have, living beyond my limits, or wanting to have the biggest, and best of everything that surrounds me. My children are wonderful without doing all the things, my house is perfect despite needing new flooring and updated bathrooms. </span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div><div><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I have what I need, more than I need, and I don’t feel the pull of the consumeristic, ostensible culture telling me I’m less than them because I don’t subscribe to what they offer.</span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: left;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">And there is nothing mediocre about that.</span></p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span><div style="text-align: left;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span></div></div>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-48043285502392846712024-01-24T08:57:00.000-08:002024-01-24T08:57:48.154-08:00Being a Reliable Narrator: Three Pathways to the Road of Honest Minimalism<p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicY9R6WaP_BMMWEHzUVIv8YpBmiJGRB3RW9tLPTMRbMQYnf0kwEoH-YgCHeqBJpD1QbbmYRlUo4aqHVcerh2jTTKrztOnNAHEw01hWcVORoprTq5ga3-VNP2V3pqGYjBwkB2wowA8Rmav3Z-TLlA6KDFZLyfQbD8NJFkouuK17cVPPgx_pfFrpxGLOPE43/s3939/IMG_1099.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Book on a table" border="0" data-original-height="3939" data-original-width="2954" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicY9R6WaP_BMMWEHzUVIv8YpBmiJGRB3RW9tLPTMRbMQYnf0kwEoH-YgCHeqBJpD1QbbmYRlUo4aqHVcerh2jTTKrztOnNAHEw01hWcVORoprTq5ga3-VNP2V3pqGYjBwkB2wowA8Rmav3Z-TLlA6KDFZLyfQbD8NJFkouuK17cVPPgx_pfFrpxGLOPE43/w240-h320/IMG_1099.jpg" title="Book" width="240" /></a></span></div><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Have you ever read a book that completely enthralled you? You
immediately liked the characters, (even the bad guys) and the storyline hooked
you from the start. You felt like you were one with the author, seeing all the
told action and even the untold action, as you deftly read between the lines.
But once the story is over, you find out that the narrator was lying to you;
telling you one thing, while a different thing was the truth. </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">When this happens, I feel both disappointed and challenged.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This type of story - when we think the story's details are
one thing but are something else entirely - has an untrustworthy narrator. This
narrator is called an unreliable narrator. An unreliable narrator is a deliberately
deceptive storyteller who cannot be trusted; someone who says untruthful things
with the intent to lie and entrap (in this case, me, the gullible
reader.) </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I mostly feel bamboozled when I've discovered an author did this. </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">On the
one hand, it makes me rethink the entire story and how well they deceived me.
I’m in awe of their ability to lie to me so well. On the other hand, I’m angry
they intentionally misled me. I want to believe what I read! I want to be so
immersed in the story believing the actions, the words, and the characters all
coordinating as it unfolds.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I love truth because I can
anchor myself to it. Who doesn’t love that?</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Living in a cluttered home is reminiscent of being an unreliable
narrator. This was me years ago. I thought I was telling myself the truth
daily as I lived and navigated my way through my home and everything in it.
Like when I’m in the kitchen, “Of course, I need six spatulas!” Then
later, as I perused my closet, “Yes, I wear all twenty pairs of jeans.”
Then when I’m looking at my vintage mug collection, “Sure I have 40 mugs, but I
use all of them.” </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Nope. Nope. And nope. I began to catch my self-told lies. And I
finally understood why I was doing it: I was tricking myself into </span><i style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">thinking</i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">
I was speaking truthfully so I didn’t feel bad about my consumerism. Buying and
collecting and holding onto more than I need is filling a void that has nothing
to do with needing anything. It had to do with insecurity. </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I was my own worst enemy.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Here’s how I turned my unreliable narrator heart into a reliable
narrator and it began with uncovering my insecurities and facing them head-on.
Here are three pathways I took that led me back to being a reliable narrator to
control the chaos and clutter in my home.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Change my focus </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">-</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> I had to stop and ask questions of myself<i> during</i> my
assessment, and the most important questions I needed to ask before I bought
something were: Why am I buying this? And am I buying this item (for my home or
closet or the kids) because they need it or because I’m trying to fill a void?
Buying - and the constant consumer cycle - is exhausting. </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But I bought stuff
because it gave me a temporary high. It gave a false sense of security. But that high never lasted
and only left me longing for more. I’ve had to re-circuit my brain to find a
different way to feel that temporary high, something called</span><a href="https://www.britannica.com/science/neuroplasticity"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> neuroplasticity.</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> Without going into copious detail,
neuroplasticity is how we wire (or rewire) our minds. I’ve switched my high
from buying things to <i>not</i> buying things. So when I buy something I
actually need and will use, I feel pretty good about myself. </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Eliminate my Poverty Mentality </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">- I don’t know if it’s because I’m thrifty or because in the first
few years of our marriage, we were extremely frugal (because we had to be), but
when I find a good deal, I feel like I have to have it—having more made me feel
rich. And yet the stuff I owned was making me poorer, overwhelmed me, and only
made me emptier inside. That was the unreliable narrator talking. I
didn’t need to worry that I wouldn’t have enough. There are plenty of resources
everywhere I turn–like in my own home! So, my goal is to stop doing God’s job
and let the things I’m supposed to have come to me without spending much (or
anything at all). Just because it's on sale or a good deal, does <i>not</i> mean I need it.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Be Thankful for Everything </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">-</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> Another light bulb moment for me, one that also took me out
of my poverty mindset, was learning to be grateful for what I already had.
We’re talking about being grateful for <i>everything</i> from finding a penny
on the ground to being gifted a cup of coffee. There is a way to be thankful
for what I have without having to buy anything else. When I looked at my closet
and eliminated all the clothing I didn’t wear, it allowed me to be thankful for
the pieces I did wear. It was impossible to be thankful for it when my closet
was stuffed with things I wasn’t grateful for. <br /></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Having less made me </span><i style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">more</i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> grateful.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I have one favorite spatula that I use all the time, the rest
never get used. I wear seven pairs of jeans all the time, not the other
13. And of those 40 vintage mugs (yes 40!) I use up to ten regularly. I
eliminated the excess. </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I’m lying to myself to feel better, to justify my expenses, and
because let's face it, I want what I want. And acquiring something for the sake
of acquiring sometimes just feels good. But, it doesn’t make it right. </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">As a minimalist and a reliable narrator, I feel like my
credibility has been restored. <i><b>I only have what I love and use and only buy
what I love and need.</b></i> I don’t need to own more to feel better about myself. I
don’t have to accumulate things I’ll never use because I’m afraid I won’t have
enough. I can trust good things will come to me. I’m more thankful for
everything I have and can’t wait to share what I own with others. I trust
myself with what I have (and don’t have). </span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I can be the real version of myself
no matter my circumstances, regardless of what’s happening around me, or what
everyone else is doing.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;">These truthful aspects bring peace and freedom into every area of
my home. And that means the story of my life finally has a reliable narrator
whom I can trust and believe in… me.</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <br /></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fantastic Minimalism Books:</span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://amzn.to/3SseNF4" target="_blank"><i>The More of Less,</i> by Joshua Becker</a></span></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><a href="https://amzn.to/493L1Mv" target="_blank"><i>Minimalism</i>: <i>Live A Meaningful Life, </i>by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus</a></p><p style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><a href="https://amzn.to/3Sv35cZ" target="_blank"><i>The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Guide to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify</i> by Francine Jay<br /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> <br /></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p></p>
Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-42395631073641199332024-01-22T09:52:00.000-08:002024-01-22T12:12:09.466-08:00Doing Nothing is Something: The Art of Taking One Day off A Week<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCjsLtyjpY-SgTyQ4AXb09_5Sb0osP8Lac6kSNsJ0AX9j1KL8xIOceZFS_qCxWwAzb0iq5CPv9mkrqK19S7TaL_JR6ImDMxEGtGlyxNjA6jT72bK3BxSi3IaXY-VoLsfulqa26uzxJ9DaFZM5KjXwl0FnwNyO9TccVvNQA6rLVELw7ofkoJI8n-4XPFBuw/s3873/IMG_6143.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A person sitting down with a book and coffee" border="0" data-original-height="3873" data-original-width="2359" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCjsLtyjpY-SgTyQ4AXb09_5Sb0osP8Lac6kSNsJ0AX9j1KL8xIOceZFS_qCxWwAzb0iq5CPv9mkrqK19S7TaL_JR6ImDMxEGtGlyxNjA6jT72bK3BxSi3IaXY-VoLsfulqa26uzxJ9DaFZM5KjXwl0FnwNyO9TccVvNQA6rLVELw7ofkoJI8n-4XPFBuw/w195-h320/IMG_6143.jpg" title="Taking a day off" width="195" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table>Yesterday, I did nothing but go to church, read, watch a little TV, walk with my youngest son, and relax.<br /><p></p><p>Yesterday was Sunday, which means it's the one day a week I don't work, think about work (that's a hard one), or stress over work.</p><p>But, it wasn't always this way for me, which is why I still feel a little restless - and guilty - when Sundays roll around.</p><p>I work from home. Everything I do is done from my home office. From <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com" target="_blank">writing</a> to <a href="https://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">selling vintage online</a>, my work surrounds me, every day. And while a huge chunk of America works from home these days, the difference is my work is self-created; these businesses are my own. I don't work for someone else. Which means I'm never not thinking about work. It's with me continually, even when I don't want to think about it.</p><p>For years, I would sort of pretend Sunday was my day off, but then I'd fire up the computer to fill an order or do some writing that I thought couldn't be put off. Those "small" Sunday events began to eat away at my love for my work; I didn't want to have to constantly be on call. Anger seeped into my heart. </p><p>But guess what, that was all on me! I finally realized that for me to work seven days a week, I was draining my emotional and mental reserves - not to mention, my physical energy was sapped because my emotional and mental faculties were rebelling. I was a prisoner in my own mind and body and it was by my own doing.</p><p>Taking one day off a week isn't just an empty action; there's a reason behind it. It's for our health and sanity. The word Sabbath is one you might have heard of. <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/Sabbath-Judaism" target="_blank">Sabbath literally means rest</a> and is deeply ingrained in the Jewish culture. Choosing to do this, to take one day off, is hard. The world will come against you; call for you; demand you're there and present for them. But, as I found out, taking one day off a week was the best thing I could've done for myself. </p><p>Here's why taking one day off a week to do nothing (which is very much something) may be the best thing for your mind, body, and soul.</p><p><b>A break from routine:</b> Sunday in my home is chill. Sometimes, my two boys and husband have to work that day, but they usually find a day in the week to rest. For me, Sunday means I do what I love, like reading or resting, watching a movie, taking a walk, or sitting in the sun for some Vitamin D. This means no work. Sure, I think about it a little, but I don't sit down to write a post, I don't fill orders for my vintage shop, I don't do laundry (unless there's an emergency) and I don't cook dinner. While I cook all the time, this is a day off for me. Getting out of a routine does wonders for the mind. It feels freeing; I'm not shackled to my daily rituals.</p><p><b>Do More with Less:</b> It sounds counterintuitive to work fewer days to get more done, but that's exactly what's happened. And it's probably because my mind and body get to rest. When I give myself a break it gives me the ability to be extremely productive the other six days. </p><p>A few years ago, I was working four part-time jobs. I had my two jobs and added a social media marketing writing job as well as work as an editor/ writer for a local magazine. I worked these jobs all from home. It was convenient. But, it was a mistake. I was overworked, and couldn't give my best to any one job. I was overstressed, burnout was a day away, and inevitably, something had to give. I put my vintage shop on the back burner and really missed it! There was no day off. At all.</p><p>So, I got rid of two jobs, am now focused on what I really love, and my stress load decreased significantly. Was it my choice to add the jobs? Yes. Did I have to? No. While I learned much from those two jobs (things I'm using in my writing today) doing less has made me far more productive. Not to mention, doing less means better quality work. Working six days a week - but giving yourself the seventh off - will increase your productivity as well as your love for your work. Win/win.</p><p><b>Busyness wreaks havoc:</b> Living a more minimalistic life, in all areas, has shown me how much stress I put on myself. It also shows how much this busyness has to do with keeping up appearances. Of course, we need to work to make money to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. But, is that what most Americans are doing? Is that what I have done over the last few decades? I bought to keep up with the Joneses; I worked to buy the things I didn't need to look put together; I kept busy with work because that's what I'm supposed to do. I had kids in sports and school and life was chaotic and stressful. This busyness is the norm, but it shouldn't be. Anger and resentment at having to live this way was all I got out of that mess. Instead, I've opted out of working too much, opted out of too many commitments, lessened my purchases, and focused on paying down debt. Busyness wreaks havoc, but intentional time off is sweet to the body.</p><p><b>Peace comes with letting Go:</b> Letting go is the name of the game here. Let go of feeling like I need to be productive; letting go of always having to stay on top of things: letting go of thinking I need to work every day just to make it. Of course, I will make it! Letting go is an act of faith, really. When we trust the process and allow ourselves to take one day to renew, peace is an overwhelming result of that action. Maya Angelou gives us an eloquent quote from <a href="https://amzn.to/3vMQkSb" target="_blank">one of her books </a>that supports this. "Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us... Each person deserves a day in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us." Agreed.</p><p>Living a minimalist lifestyle prioritized my goals and the way I want to live, and that includes minimizing my work. It's the essence of slow living: slowing down to truly live. Taking a single day per week is a way to not just put work to the side, but rejuvenate the mind, body, and soul. It takes us out of the tumultuous never-ending work cycle and gives us a reason to live a freeing life; a life fulfilled outside the routine, learning how to do more with less time, decreasing busyness, and drawing in peace.</p><p>My work will always be there. But, it's up to me to choose the way of rest. When I do, I see the difference in my physical health and emotions, and peace settles in everything I do. A day of rest is a day to contemplate our future, live in the present, ignore the past... and live the lives we were called to live.</p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p><p>Books for further research on taking one day off a week: </p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/480skZj" target="_blank"><i>Subversive Sabbath </i>by A. J. Swoboda</a></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/48FuheH" target="_blank"><i>Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives </i>by Wayne Muller</a></p><p><i><a href="https://amzn.to/425ZZPR" target="_blank">The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath</a><a href="https://amzn.to/425ZZPR" target="_blank"> </a></i><a href="https://amzn.to/425ZZPR" target="_blank">by Mark Buchanan</a></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/47L8oJH" target="_blank"><i>Take the Day Off: Receiving God's Gift of Rest </i>by Robert Morris and Max Lucado</a></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-1920639248259915612024-01-20T07:40:00.000-08:002024-01-20T07:40:47.122-08:00How to Bring Slow Fashion into Your Wardrobe in 10 Easy Ways<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiURG0livRlN2j7ZuyxaT8aY4kmsf0x6MHk7U97_MG-yo0CIp2t__571watLwN4ARMtK7hTs3yNI2NhjjHjbqfF44vmUsYq2haDW4rBJG1wYBCX6pYFG_4ZSeQbUY5TUVb11NcGZgeM6CTuAK9MBbVVC_KuUhvI7xtjT-mBR1X72I_7ilteNem72RDdhI5_/s1544/IMG_0830.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1544" data-original-width="1170" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiURG0livRlN2j7ZuyxaT8aY4kmsf0x6MHk7U97_MG-yo0CIp2t__571watLwN4ARMtK7hTs3yNI2NhjjHjbqfF44vmUsYq2haDW4rBJG1wYBCX6pYFG_4ZSeQbUY5TUVb11NcGZgeM6CTuAK9MBbVVC_KuUhvI7xtjT-mBR1X72I_7ilteNem72RDdhI5_/s320/IMG_0830.jpg" width="242" /></a></div>Ten years ago, I didn’t know what fast fashion or slow fashion was. Though I’ve been wearing vintage clothing for decades, and selling it for more than thirteen years, I didn’t know slow fashion was a thing. I had no clue there was even a movement behind the idea: I just knew I liked slow fashion - vintage and handmade items - and over the last decade, shifted my entire mindset (and closet) to become a slow fashion lover for good.<br /><p></p><p><a href="https://goodonyou.eco/what-is-slow-fashion/" target="_blank">What is slow fashion?</a> Well, it’s the opposite of fast fashion. The last thirty years have given rise to fast fashion: cheaper materials, faster made, quickly sold, trendy designs – and this cycle repeats itself to infinity. Think Zara, Shein, and Forever 21 with the intent of pieces to be worn a few times, tossed, and the wearer (aka the consumer) buys more. Slow fashion is better materials, slower made, slowly sold, with classic designs. Think vintage made, quality made, or hand made with the intent for clothing pieces to last decades… and the wearer keeps these pieces for as long as possible.</p><p>Slow fashion was initially a phrase given by Kate Fletcher, a professor of Sustainable Fashion at the <a href="https://www.sustainable-fashion.com" target="_blank">London College of Fashion</a>. There was a movement for slow food and slow living, but a slow fashion movement was in dire need of forging. Consumerism was at an all-time high, landfills were brimming with unworn discarded new clothing… something was wrong. While many unsold new clothes are sent overseas, two-thirds of unsold new clothing <a href="https://www.greenamerica.org/unrave" target="_blank">are sent to landfills</a>.</p><p>Until we learn to be satisfied with what we have, to ditch trendy for classic, and to want to take care of the items we wear and truly love, slow fashion will never take root. But, if you’re like many folks who are finally waking up to the reality of our consumeristic culture, there’s an easy way to combat fash fashion: begin a new fashion life with a new way of looking at your closet and the items in it: a life amidst slow fashion.</p><p>Here are ten ways to bring slow fashion into your life.</p><p><b>1. Shop secondhand </b>- This is probably the biggest action you can do that will not only help your style and your pocketbook but also the environment. Also, you don’t have to worry you’ll be wearing the same thing as somebody else! So many items can be reused, re-worn, and enjoyed.</p><p><b>2. <a href="https://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">Wear vintage clothing</a></b> - If you want to give vintage a try, shop thrift shops and consignment stores. It’s a great way to buy for less and get a feel for what you like. Incorporating vintage into your wardrobe is easy once you know what you want to wear. I sell vintage clothing in my <a href="https://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">Etsy </a>shop and wear it daily.</p><p><b>3. Wear handmade</b> - Back in the day, everybody sewed. Today, it’s a lost art. Try supporting brands that do handmade or bespoke clothing. You’re supporting true artists with clothing that is no doubt quality-made that will last for decades, not a singular season. </p><p><b>4. Wear real clothing</b> (i.e. linen, wool, silk, cotton) - Polyester had its day back in the early 70s. But it’s back… and it’s back because it’s cheap to manufacture. Instead, wear real materials and your clothes will not only last a long time (and maintain sustainability) but your skin will be thankful too. Fake fabrics (and their chemicals on your skin) are not good for your body! </p><p><b>5. Buy quality new clothing (plan on repairing)</b> - Buy less but buy better. That’s the slow fashion mantra. Clothing will inevitably wear out. Plan on finding a great tailor who can fit your clothes to your body, and make repairs as you go through life enjoying these quality pieces.</p><p><b>6. Shop small/ shop local </b>- Again, find local artisans who make clothing, crafts, shoes, or homemade goods. Shop your neighbors; shop your local social media app marketplace; go to your community events. There’s always a gift fair or farmer’s market filled with people who would love your patronage.</p><p><b>7. <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/PerennialVintageShop?ref=seller-platform-mcnav&section_id=41042405" target="_blank">Wear a vintage accessory</a></b> - If you’re not ready to jump into vintage full throttle, that’s okay. Start small. Start with a vintage accessory like a hat, belt, jewelry, or bandana. They’re small but pack a punch. <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/3-ways-to-wear-incorporate-vintage-with.html" target="_blank">I wrote a blog post about this</a> and these small items can make you stand out in all the right ways.</p><p><b>8. Buy less - so much less</b> - If you want to keep things simple, slow fashion is about buying less. A whole lot less. Don’t need to buy any new clothes right now? Perfect. Because slow fashion is about appreciating what you already have for as long as possible.</p><p><b>9. Buy better</b> - This is a given, being that slow fashion is better- vintage or handmade clothing is made better. No question there. But, you also need to get into the mindset that most of your future clothing (if you want to go slow fashion) will be a few yet amazing pieces. Plan on spending a little more to have years with your favorite pieces rather than just one season. </p><p><b>10. Buy with a purpose</b> - Remember, slow fashion goes with slow living. You’re buying with a purpose, whether it’s to support a local designer (or vintage seller) or create the minimalist quality wardrobe you dream of. Vintage fashion is recycling and reusing in its highest form. The bonus is that the clothing is almost always much better made than most modern clothing.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyafPbBb1Qivx_AeIOLZPzFkdYdSwiD07gae_Xp84WxBfc6NS_jbwoFeUKszNrHBpHEFm2Ma-KAePscfOU9o6t0GLlvHKC-E57s9lYO5G3VBScHKpc8He0iuOuVZkGo5n92bl8nCwqfTRNLE-pmziZ1MuWl5Y5XQdb3UC4-I8nVPORfA7dGomqxkuFUmbn/s750/IMG_0829.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="738" data-original-width="750" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyafPbBb1Qivx_AeIOLZPzFkdYdSwiD07gae_Xp84WxBfc6NS_jbwoFeUKszNrHBpHEFm2Ma-KAePscfOU9o6t0GLlvHKC-E57s9lYO5G3VBScHKpc8He0iuOuVZkGo5n92bl8nCwqfTRNLE-pmziZ1MuWl5Y5XQdb3UC4-I8nVPORfA7dGomqxkuFUmbn/w262-h258/IMG_0829.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>Being a part of the slow fashion movement doesn’t mean you can’t be fashionable. I tend to find that those who wear vintage - or pieces that transcend trend - have some of the best wardrobes. <p></p><p>If you’re like me, I don’t want to look like everyone else. I don’t want to wear a shirt from Target that I will see on every other woman when I’m out. I want to be unique; I want to stand out. Wearing the same thing as your grandma or best friend doesn’t quite live up to the hype of being unique when you see the item everywhere. </p><p>Be you, be unique, and save your closet from the constant influx of trendy clothing. And the best part? Your pocketbook will thank you. You may spend a little more to get a quality item, but that item will last for years. And you will look as good in it now as you will in 15 years from now because it’s a classic piece. </p><p>With slow fashion, less is more. Whether handmade or vintage, slow fashion almost always correlates with quality. After all, don’t we all just want the best? With slow fashion, you can have the best, have the minimalist wardrobe you desire, and look like a million dollars.</p><div><br /></div>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-83244844877573007822024-01-17T13:17:00.000-08:002024-01-17T13:17:28.865-08:00Reading for Health and Happiness: 6 Reasons to Read More<p></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWchTz2asiJAZc31zlgekYSqQBJRaYcY3vsX9EAarOnG4kaFZOi1V4V8d01ra5O3aUb4xiFk-OtXRXF-raDWFd7A4KCxDK3POcgChHpl-PQdhu7Qb0SkHG_1SZBfYWcKdLngxzZJvLichzxD8owntyNxmnpVHBuzmrilu6dOHCF2V2-IPiUNz1REfmizT6/s4032/IMG_0895.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A bookshelf full of books" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWchTz2asiJAZc31zlgekYSqQBJRaYcY3vsX9EAarOnG4kaFZOi1V4V8d01ra5O3aUb4xiFk-OtXRXF-raDWFd7A4KCxDK3POcgChHpl-PQdhu7Qb0SkHG_1SZBfYWcKdLngxzZJvLichzxD8owntyNxmnpVHBuzmrilu6dOHCF2V2-IPiUNz1REfmizT6/w240-h320/IMG_0895.jpg" title="My bookshelf" width="240" /></a></div></div>Reading is like breathing to me. I can't live without it and I certainly wouldn't <i>want </i>to go without it. Reading has the power to transform, transport, enlighten, and educate. <p></p><p><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/01/05/how-many-books-did-you-read-2023-see-how-you-stack-up/" target="_blank">The Washington Post came out with a little article last week about reading </a>and how little of it we Americans partake. As if it was something we were trying to avoid. Why is this?<br /></p><p>The article noted that 46% of most Americans don't read even a single book a year (This is either an actual book or an ebook like on a <a href="https://amzn.to/3vzjZhr" target="_blank">Kindle</a>.) And that only 5% read one book a year. </p><p><i>A year.</i></p><p>And if you've read two, then you're doing better than half of us. (This includes audiobooks which I wouldn't have included, but so many people do this while commuting.)</p><p>What in the world has happened to us?</p><p></p><p>I suppose the influx of these little gadgets in our hands (smartphones) has made a difference. We "read" a lot of social media posts (which isn't reading, it's entertainment) and bits and bobbles of 'blurbs" that count as news. But, overall, this isn't reading as in "reading a book."</p><p>Reading is a luxury. I'm aware of that. I read a minimum of an hour a day and on weekends, if I'm lucky, I try to read two or three hours a day. But, finding the time to read is an issue we all scramble to work with. And yet, time has been there all along.</p><p>We have an hour a day to play on our phones. Why not read instead? </p><p>Actually, according to <a href="https://www.pcmag.com/news/americans-check-their-phones-an-alarming-number-of-times-per-day#:~:text=On%20average%2C%20Americans%20spend%204,on%20the%20toilet%20(75%25)." target="_blank">PC Magazine, we spend something like 4 hours and 25 minutes </a>a day on our phones. That is astounding.</p><p>So time isn't the issue here. Priorities are. And obviously, most people don't think reading is important. This means a lot of people are expecting the world (media) to educate us and all topics we are interested in rather than us doing our own reading, research, and discussion.</p><p>Reading is also a skill. A honed skill that takes time to achieve. Quieting the brain, forcing ourselves to focus on a book, and ignoring everything else around us - a world clamoring for our attention 24/7- is a worthy but seemingly insurmountable task.</p><p>While there are scads of scientific data that supports how reading is good for us (<a href="https://www.discovermagazine.com/mind/audiobooks-or-reading-to-our-brains-it-doesnt-matter" target="_blank">studies say that both reading and audiobooks work similar parts of the brain </a>- I don't think so, but what do I know), after being an avid reader for the last 40 years, here's why I value reading and why you may want to add reading to your daily activities.</p><p><b>To be educated</b> - There is no better way to learn anything than by reading. I suppose Google has upped this challenge. We can search for anything and learn how to do it. But reading about it will give you a depth of education YouTube videos can't possibly give. To learn more about any subject, we must read more. Plain and simple.</p><p><b>To escape</b> - Television is escapism, but did you know that <a href="https://hub.jhu.edu/magazine/2021/winter/tv-brain-study/" target="_blank">part of our brain turns off when we watch TV? Our brain begins to rot.</a> That's frightening. Reading does the opposite. We can still escape to our preferred places - from a cozy mystery to science fiction, an autobiography, or historical fiction - and keep our brains active and growing. This is a good way to minimize aging. Use it or lose it, folks.</p><p><b>To relax </b>- Numerous studies have shown <a href="https://namica.org/blog/why-reading-is-good-for-mental-health/" target="_blank">reading relaxes us and destresses us</a>. Even if you're in the middle of edge-of-your-seat action in your book, you're still relaxed because as you read, you're lowering your heart rate, steadying your breathing, and relaxing your muscles. Reading helps us to decompress, and let our bodies sink into comfort while our brains whirl with activity. </p><p><b>To understand how others view life</b> - Want to learn how Benjamin Franklin lived? Interested in how C.S. Lewis transformed his life? What about Jane Austen... did ladies really behave this way back then? There is no better way to learn about others' lives than seeing what has been written. Read varied authors. Don't just stick to one genre. Read about people who have the opposite political view of yours. Learn, read, self-educate, and find commonalities among us.</p><p><b>To be a better writer</b> - There is no better way to be a great writer than to be a great reader. The two go hand in hand. To write is to read. So if you're a writer, or want to be a writer, or love the idea of writing, reading is essential. As Stephen King said, "If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot." I strive to live up to this twin goal.</p><p><b>To live a slow life</b> - Reading is the ultimate slow-living activity. Not just colloquially but literally. To read, you <i>have</i> to slow down, grab the drink, find the perfect spot to sit or recline, open the book (put the glasses on), and settle into comfort. To live a slower life, to bring in parts of peace and intentional living you want back into your life, reading is quite possibly the best way to start. I wrote a blog about <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2024/01/simple-ways-to-bring-peace-into-your.html" target="_blank">bringing peace into our daily lives</a> and reading is a huge way to usher in peace.</p><p>I rank reading up there with exercise and sleep. Reading should be a part of our lives not just to keep our brains active, but for educational purposes in all areas. Reading used to be part of our lives a hundred years ago, but that was before the invention of movies and then the proliferation of television sets.</p><p>I read 77 books last year, which is an average of about 6.5 books a month, which is roughly 1.75 books a week. Two books a week is average for me, it's what I'm doing right now, and I find it an easy goal to keep.</p><p>But, we're all different. A few years ago, a book a month was my goal - any more than that and I felt overwhelmed. If two books a week are too much for you, try one book a week. Or better yet, a book a month. An average book takes about 4-5 hours worth of a reading commitment. This means you can read for a minimum of 10 minutes a day and finish one book a month. That is doable!</p><p>Reading shouldn't be a perfunctory action but a choice because you <i>want </i>to. And you should <i>want</i> to if you want to better yourself. Reading adds value to your life; it slows you down and gives you wisdom, education, and insight. As I said before, because reading is a luxury and a discipline, it takes time to "find" your time and exercise the habit. But, once you've acquired this skill, you'll want it in your life forever.</p><p>Happy reading.</p><p><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-4004336493485634982024-01-15T07:59:00.000-08:002024-01-15T07:59:49.945-08:00Simple Ways to bring Peace into Your Daily Life<p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://amzn.to/3vtdblp" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="A book on a table with a cup of coffee" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiykVQXTbJQlX2IzWpDb-HUt88ydWDyw56g80lIed6xaKuBNevTo5TFkHikEBCrUuUUfjVg0pi6rxpMeDkHV9O_dtOEaUu0S3fRPTbU3Dky583onB6mlSa_WLEMqTsD1AJ4ym4OC7kD7pTEa9QgsQQ08RRrJJRq_kyKTjTbAohTrlBfIUDFHPufgoI7TyRq/w235-h313/phonto.PNG" title="Reading is a way to slow down your life." width="235" /></a></div>Living a slow life is my daily goal. But wow, is that a hard thing to do.<p></p><p>The biggest factor preventing me from living this way is... <i>me</i>. I am my own worst enemy. While I desire to slow down, and do things that bring value to my world (and not what the world says is valuable), actually doing this is like fighting a fight I never wanted to be a part of. </p><p>We live in a "fast" world, where what we buy is delivered to us within hours if we want (Amazon), or we can find answers to questions in seconds (Google), or where news and social media dominate our lives because it's in our faces, on our phones and everywhere we turn. Our world doesn't cater to a slower pace of life. It's a fast, now-now-now, fast fashion, buy more, do more, and say more place. We're all living in a 24-hour casino, calling it "normal," and wondering why we suffer. </p><p>To carve out the slow life I want - a life that centers more on only doing what I love, being with people I love, and doing things that matter in a more meaningful time pattern - I have to daily remind myself what that looks like. And it doesn't look like anything the world wants for me. This slower life invites peace in our minds and hearts. Slow living is a return to living the life-giving way that nurtures our soul. I believe it's how we were made to live. </p><p>Here are a few simple things you can do today - things I try to do every day - to root yourself back to your original design.</p><p><b>1. Read </b>- Sit down and read. It may only be for twenty minutes, but just that can lower your heart rate and relax your muscles. A study done in 2009 by the <a href="https://www.sussex.ac.uk/" target="_blank">University of Sussex</a> claims that reading can lower your stress levels by 68%. I can use that! Read something that can take you away; something that is fun and engaging. Just a little goes a long way. I can feel my blood pressure going down just writing this.</p><p><b>2. Exercise</b> - I do yoga twice a week and am so relaxed afterward. It is one of the best things I've done for myself over the last ten years. If yoga isn't your thing, then take a walk, or go to the gym and work out your stress. It doesn't have to be high-intensity though. Slow and steady exercise is just as beneficial. If you want to go for a run, if that feels good to you, then do it! But any exercise will help bring back your peace.</p><p><b>3. Write</b> - This is obviously something I do daily. I try to write daily, whether a single sentence or two thousand words. <a href="https://www.heatherspiva.com/2017/04/writing-to-write-because-you-write.html" target="_blank">And I've written many blog posts on this topic. </a>While it's a part of my career, it's also something that brings peace. Even writing out my to-do list for the day is therapeutic. Write a letter to a friend, send that text you've been meaning to send, or write a love note to your partner.</p><p><b>4. Cut the list</b>- Speaking of to-do lists, this is something that needs to go. Or at least, severely limit it. I love crossing out things I need to do (and did!) but when the list is 15 deep, that's absurd. Triage your list. Put down the most important five things you need to do for the day - and no more - and work on that. If you find you have time to do other things you didn't write down, great. But, don't increase your stress load on a piece of paper. Let that list go (way down). If your list is too long, you're doing too much. Period. Find ways to opt out of activities and lessen your load. </p><p><b>5. Sit for 15 minutes/ Meditate -</b> And do nothing. I mean, just sit down, get a hot beverage, and don't read, watch TV, or scroll on your phone... or anything. Just sit and meditate or let your mind wander. It's not so easy. There's something about not doing anything that is very difficult; our society has taught us that multitasking is better than doing one thing at a time. But once accomplished, doing nothing is not just relaxing but rejuvenating. You're not wasting your time, you're recharging. Let yourself be by yourself and do nothing.</p><p><b>6. Get Rid of Something </b>- Whether it's donating it, throwing it away, or finding a family member or friend to give it to, find one thing in your house that you can get rid of. It's not hard to do. I'm sure you could find more than one thing. But getting rid of just one thing a day brings back a type of control to your life. The bonus is it cleans your home, allows you to <i>give</i> something, and keeps you mindful of what you bring into your home.</p><p>Since reducing my stress load and bringing in peaceful actions throughout my day, I feel like a different person. In my opinion, I believe the current frenetic pace of our world is unsustainable - something in each of our lives will suffer if we don't start to say "no" to activities that push us over the threshold of sanity. We weren't made to live with a constant desire for more or for the constant desire to do more activities without rest. It's a striving for... what? To keep up with the Joneses? Self-accomplishment?</p><p>And at what expense? Our health, finances, or our children? There is a causation to every choice and it affects us - and those around - us regardless of its positives or negatives.</p><p>Sure, life happens - kids, jobs, houses, spouses. But we can slow down enough to cobble together a life we <i>want </i>to live and not <i>have</i> to live. We were meant to give to others, we were meant to read slowly and move our bodies, we were meant to write out our thoughts and feelings, ideas and goals; we were meant to have a smaller to-do list. We were meant to enjoy our lives! Not race through them. </p><p>We can accomplish things, do things we love and still live peaceful lives that are fruitful and abundant at a slower, more meaningful, and restful pace. By slowing down, we can bring peace back into the equation. But it comes down to choice. We must choose a slower life to reap the benefits a fast life can't give us. If you're looking for health, happiness, and peace, a slower pace might just be what you're looking for.</p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-38672616174904904522024-01-13T09:47:00.000-08:002024-01-13T15:33:14.272-08:003 Ways to Wear Vintage with Modern Fashion<span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW1pfCfSXU_RMKbPcPec7TviJ4Euw7bCIVR2kHBWW_yksIULpxeIUFpPl4p7SCKhL7NQ8YSSE0J7_f1itKX5MJG6e4bM1aALv-Z5J3tFRlSMVHXPivwLwTSNalr4PA0P_EYO2MVuwI2qos9U6N1NaVZd1MKfaDcS-V6Ag9zUO-PjA4ii1oeqw57dpy32bv/s4032/IMG_9665.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW1pfCfSXU_RMKbPcPec7TviJ4Euw7bCIVR2kHBWW_yksIULpxeIUFpPl4p7SCKhL7NQ8YSSE0J7_f1itKX5MJG6e4bM1aALv-Z5J3tFRlSMVHXPivwLwTSNalr4PA0P_EYO2MVuwI2qos9U6N1NaVZd1MKfaDcS-V6Ag9zUO-PjA4ii1oeqw57dpy32bv/s320/IMG_9665.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I sell a lot of vintage clothing, and because of that - and because this "vintage selling" has taken place over the last thirteen years - I own a lot of various vintage pieces, for various parts of my wardrobe as well.</span><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-c14bad20-7fff-908a-d6f1-77cbe9770356"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This means I've learned </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">how</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> to wear vintage, </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">what</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> vintage to wear,</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> without these key pieces making you look like you're in a costume.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Trust me, that's one of the biggest issues folks fear when they buy vintage. There are a few who can get away with it - they can do the entire 1940s outfit because that's the persona they want to emit - but most people who buy vintage from me, and most of the vintage I wear, go with modern pieces I already have, or pieces my customers already have in their closet.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">So, where do you begin? How do you add a small but amazing punch to your wardrobe without knowing where to start? How do you wear vintage with a modern wardrobe?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Slow fashion is about buying quality clothing that transcends trends. Vintage clothing fits deeply into the slow fashion movement. Buy less, but buy quality and vintage is quality. Here are three ways to liven up your wardrobe with key vintage pieces that will give your outfit that pizzazz and "wow factor" you've been looking for.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/PerennialVintageShop?ref=condensed_trust_header_title_sold&search_query=belts" target="_blank">Belts</a> </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">- </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I have a thing for vintage belts. No, I'm serious. For the last decade or so, I've amassed a collection of many belts (I’ve pared down to 20 or so in my minimalist years. Yes, I really do wear them regularly. It's easy to add a belt to your outfit every day!) and of those belts, when I tire of a few, I sell them in my <a href="https://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">vintage shop</a>. I also love belts so much that a huge chunk of the items in my shop are belts. I sell men's and women's belts because they are such a fun piece to perk up a look. People love to take them off my hands, too. I sell belts almost every day. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Belts have been worn since the Bronze Age and have really been a part of the person's outfit from the beginning of time. I'm not sure when it was decided that belts didn't serve a purpose anymore -- particularly for women -- but every size and every shape should wear belts. From an old 1940s leather novelty belt to a more modern 1990s black studded belt, nothing says "wow!" more than a belt that is thrown on with your jeans, a dress, shorts, or even a skirt.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">And let me rant a moment, since I have you here... have you seen belts today? Most aren't close to the quality that standard, everyday belts, were once made. Back in the day, most belts were </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">only </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">made with real leather, not bonded leather or now, even worse, (thank you, Target) plastic. Though a few companies still use real leather and make quality belts, you will pay a premium for them. Which is fine. Buy quality, buy less, and have it for a lifetime. And with vintage belts, you get that quality at a price that's affordable which at times, can surpass the modern competition's price point.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=6220&awinaffid=1368021&ued=https://www.etsy.com/shop/PerennialVintageShop" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTqom-rATQmxgDgmk04Hu6Qo_iTBAiggB9GE-pdNIAqLK5U3TmddJuP3frvCTr-BKKOgMVCuqMsrwAK6-CXRjepWO_uMcq2dnZDC5rpazNdPE-GLb2nMa6gONuCaQaEIL6cdOpcITogrv-0eowKk-HwdSAZkynGcHjhc2OM3ap6lECTEohVntqDtsgfKe/s320/IMG_0828.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></div><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=6220&awinaffid=1368021&ued=https://www.etsy.com/shop/PerennialVintageShop" target="_blank">Bandanas</a></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> - </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Bandanas had a surge in popularity when the dreaded COVID hit, and many folks, never stopped wearing them. Bandanas have a way of sharpening up your look. You can wear them around your neck, and even this decision has variety. Some people wear the bandana to show the tied ends in front, others want to show the bandana instead, and some folks wear bandanas in their hair or around their wrists. Heck, even a bandana in the pocket gives you an edge to your outfit that others don't have. Bandanas are quintessentially American and everyone should have at least one.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I've been wearing bandanas for a good decade now and unlike jewelry, they give a unique look that is very different than a necklace statement piece. Bandanas, like scarves, can accent an outfit and if you've watched any modern-day western, (think Yellowstone) they sure come in handy on your ranch. Or at least, for me, my proverbial one.</span></p></span><span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/PerennialVintageShop?ref=condensed_trust_header_title_sold&search_query=hat" target="_blank">Hats</a></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> - </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This is one element that I've shied away from. Not because I don't like hats, but because hats are absolute statement pieces and I'm not one for attracting attention to myself. Baseball hats, not so much, but any other kind of hat, and I can guarantee people will stand up and take notice. We've got cowboy hats, berets, Greek fisherman's caps, fascinators... all of these pieces are incredible and with the right outfit, will take your look up a notch. Vintage hats are easy to find. I'm in thrift stores regularly and old hats are there. They're everywhere, in fact; wide-brimmed "racehorse hats" (the kind the ladies wear to the races), to trapper hats with flaps over the ears. Hats are magical. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">While I own a few hats (a couple of beanies, and a couple of ball caps), I've sold a plethora to the happy masses and there's a reason for it: hats make the outfit. If you're hesitant like me, start small... maybe a newspaper boy hat, or a beanie, and if the wide-brimmed cowboy hats are something you've wanted to try, then do it! And how about this: you don't even have to buy vintage for any of these. The point is, new or vintage, these things can make you look your best. But, if you want to add vintage to your wardrobe, this is one of the easiest to incorporate.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">These are three simple ways to add vintage to your modern outfits -- belts, bandanas, and hats -- and are generally inexpensive, even if they're new (Okay, cowboy hats can fetch and demand a pretty penny, particularly name-brand ones like Steson, etc). If you're interested in finding other ways to add vintage to your wardrobe, check out the ebook I wrote on this called <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/1008784763/how-to-wear-vintage-with-style-10-simple?click_key=6b94ccb7330416e9f04cf71193c0560c8336be6b%3A1008784763&click_sum=dfc27ba7&ga_search_query=book&ref=shop_items_search_2&pro=1&sts=1" target="_blank"> </a></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/1008784763/how-to-wear-vintage-with-style-10-simple?click_key=6b94ccb7330416e9f04cf71193c0560c8336be6b%3A1008784763&click_sum=dfc27ba7&ga_search_query=book&ref=shop_items_search_2&pro=1&sts=1" target="_blank">How to Wear Vintage with Style</a></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. It goes into more detail on these three and much more. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">For less than the price of a cup of coffee, this guidebook will show you ten simple ways to incorporate vintage into your daily wardrobe... and make you feel and look like a million bucks. Minimal living means having quality fashion but less of it - vintage clothing supports this movement to infinity.<br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Vintage clothing has been a part of my life for so long that I don’t know how not to wear it. Half of my closet is vintage, and that's not changing anytime soon. I love the blend of modern and vintage styles and they work seamlessly together if you know what pieces you want and the style you're going for.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">These vintage pieces may be small and simple, but they make a statement. I've gotten compliments for years on these three items and it never surprises me because these three forgotten accessories can make anyone look like they have it all together... even if they don't.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">-HJS</span></p><br /></span>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-2279011234574131632024-01-10T13:32:00.000-08:002024-01-11T13:05:37.954-08:004 Ways to Cope with Losing your Best (Pet) Friend<p></p><script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5854501007213268"
crossorigin="anonymous"></script>The subject of this post sat in my drafts for weeks: 4 Ways to Cope with Losing your Best (Pet) Friend. I'd written the title, and I knew what I wanted to write but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it... even though it was burning a hole in my heart since the day she passed nearly two months ago. <p></p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlutRF1ijkOxM7HftVp9jU7gHkGSa2bHPU5dkzOefigTaa07yF2DwuR5Raof6gQsCRaVwaE8yVyCF5Agx8dsWGPk7gfIWzu6A-cUYigY0pYT3hgn6hRT1JvTN5FLsCJ0xG5dc78jUy6FWAkoizH4uFcyzdUgQ75OsScq6wArIf_XDsIhdm3C_66EmROhj/s2943/phonto.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A goldendoodle dog lying down panting with a smile on her face." border="0" data-original-height="2943" data-original-width="2804" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlutRF1ijkOxM7HftVp9jU7gHkGSa2bHPU5dkzOefigTaa07yF2DwuR5Raof6gQsCRaVwaE8yVyCF5Agx8dsWGPk7gfIWzu6A-cUYigY0pYT3hgn6hRT1JvTN5FLsCJ0xG5dc78jUy6FWAkoizH4uFcyzdUgQ75OsScq6wArIf_XDsIhdm3C_66EmROhj/w305-h320/phonto.jpg" title="Sierra" width="305" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sierra</td></tr></tbody></table><i>How do I begin?</i> That was the biggest hang-up. There was no perfect place to begin because there were many things I wanted to say about her. There were no perfect topics to start the post because they were as varied as they were important; all were special things, all incredible. She was my best friend. <div><br /></div><div>It's difficult to deal with losing a pet. It's hard to mentally "let go" of a being you've taken care of for years. My dog is gone. My best friend isn't here anymore.<p>When God created dogs, he created a companion that he knew man or woman needed: a faithful, devoted, and happy sidekick. Which is probably the most perfect description of a best friend. Those are descriptives we strive to find in human friends but don't find consistently because humans are well, just that... human. We aren't perfect, we make mistakes, and we aren't there for our family and friends the way we should be. We're self-absorbed and busy and I'm top of my list for being selfish. Getting out of my own way is a daily struggle.</p><p>Fortunately for us, most pets <i>aren't </i>made that way. Especially pups. They are there for us at any time, at any moment of any day of their sweet existence. We write about our dogs, we talk about our dogs, we take pictures and post videos about our dogs <i>because</i> they are faithful, devoted, and happy pets. Basically, they act the way we humans should but fail to do.</p><p>All pets are a love offering, dropped into our laps, that we get to take care of. As we talk to them and hold them, shots of the <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-friend-who-keeps-you-young#:~:text=Research%20has%20shown%20that%20simply,that%20bonds%20mothers%20to%20babies)." target="_blank">feel-good hormone oxytocin </a>are released into our bodies. This deeply connects us to them. And these love hormones also keep us from wanting to give them away when they destroy, steal, take, or hide things that they shouldn't. Which can be a daily occurrence. (I think they do this to gain attention because they love us so much!)</p><p>It's been two months since my dog, Sierra, left us and I'm still not sure if there is a right or wrong way to grieve a pet. But here's how I coped with losing my dog and what you can do to possibly ease the pain of losing your best pet friend.</p><p><b>Talk about your pet.</b> This is key. Don't stop talking about your pet just because they're not there. They <i>are</i> still there... in your heart, soul, and mind. My husband and I still reference her when we're out for a walk remembering how she loved meeting humans more than other dogs. We talk about how we think we still see her in our peripheral vision in our home or "hear" her walking across the tile floor. Talking about our pets lets us expel pent-up feelings over losing them. Talking about our pets takes the edge of loss <i>away</i> from the front of our hearts. So, instead of feeling deep heartache every time you think of your pet, the words you speak turn your feelings into a deep "heart heal."</p><p><b>Look at the pictures.</b> I only took about a million photos of my dog when she was alive. Along with my two sons, they are the other most oft-taken photos on my phone. I look at her pictures daily. I even received two beautiful <a href="https://amzn.to/3voKkP7" target="_blank">Christmas ornaments</a> with photos of her in them. They were front and center of my tree last year. Healing comes from acceptance and I am accepting my pet's loss through looking at photos of her. I have a frame ready for a picture of her and will put that out as soon as I bring myself to print some photos. Look at pictures of your pet. Remind yourself of how much they were a part of your lives. They were invaluable.</p><p><b>Understand that love is never wasted.</b> There is a great quote by C.S. Lewis that says this, "Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity." It's saying you don't have to receive love back to gain the benefits of love given; love doesn't come back to us void. Giving love is the highest form of any action. I mean, it's even the <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A+37-40&version=NIV" target="_blank">number one thing Jesus commanded us to do</a>. But when it comes to pets, your pet most likely loved you back! There was no waste. I got to love my dog and was blessed to have that same love returned to me every day of the nearly 14 years she was with us.</p><p><b>Pet other pets.</b> This one's pretty obvious. My desire to not only look at other dogs - but pet them - is at an all-time high right now. I try to pet most dogs I randomly pass on a walk, or in the street near my house. On one walk, a beautiful golden retriever found his way straight to me, and you better believe I was petting that sweet face! Find other animals, or other pets, just like the pet you lost to still feel connected to your late fur baby. Being able to pet other animals similar to the one you lost is a special thing. It's like re-entering the world after you've been sick. You're not quite whole yet, but getting back to life with things you used to do feels a little more exhilarating than usual. </p><p>To me, dogs are the ultimate example of embodied unconditional love; selfless to their literal dying day. Sure, they have their precocious ways as a puppy. But they turn into unbelievable companions. Which is exactly what my dog was to me.</p><p>While these four coping options don't necessarily ameliorate the pet-sized hole in our hearts, they certainly lessen it which gives us a more functional existence as we navigate grief. Loss is a part of life. And if we didn't know loss, we couldn't measure our love. My sweet pup is gone, but I'm blessed I got to love her. Now, more than sadness, I feel thankful that I was given the chance to love her for as long as I did. What a gift!</p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p></div>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-68782285147826410942024-01-03T16:43:00.000-08:002024-03-06T15:37:21.198-08:00How to have a Collection and Still be a Minimalist<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdoP4Yjz9T7R0wHgygj_XeRPCXnS864b8ABA4J8hcfyb9VU-CNvshuvvSkSuMiSXoNo0YOy1Wk0P78Jjo5guG08IhsSmWWg9lF6w7pEVEsPcqoZkWlJgeZcPzk8m7LtMCPj8fYPdtb-gsCpjqOGE-pwjIIeSdtSTVoH1QhE2M1E2P4Ud-cTUW0-bpQORqD/s3919/IMG_0461.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Closet of vintage Pyrex" border="0" data-original-height="3919" data-original-width="2939" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdoP4Yjz9T7R0wHgygj_XeRPCXnS864b8ABA4J8hcfyb9VU-CNvshuvvSkSuMiSXoNo0YOy1Wk0P78Jjo5guG08IhsSmWWg9lF6w7pEVEsPcqoZkWlJgeZcPzk8m7LtMCPj8fYPdtb-gsCpjqOGE-pwjIIeSdtSTVoH1QhE2M1E2P4Ud-cTUW0-bpQORqD/w240-h320/IMG_0461.jpg" title="Pyrex Collection" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>I'm going to dive into an area that is near and dear to my heart: collecting.<p></p><p>I'm going to explain why I call myself a minimalist while owning a vintage Pyrex collection that is huge and still growing.</p><p>Let's go over the basics. What is a collection? According to the <a href="an accumulation of objects gathered for study, comparison, or exhibition or as a hobby" target="_blank">Merriam-Webster dictionary</a>, a collection is "an accumulation of objects gathered for study, comparison, or exhibition or as a hobby." I'm going to reiterate, for emphasis, the word <i>hobby.</i> Because that's what my collection - and most people who have collections - take their collection to be: a hobby. </p><p>One collection is fine. Even two. Perhaps even three or four. </p><p><i>But when is it too much? How will I know?</i></p><p>Since I was a kid, I've been collecting something. I think most collections for adults begin in their youth. There is a giant world of things to collect and for me, this was how I learned to value objects and to take care of those things as well. My love of vintage began in my early years and is probably why I cling to it today. In the beginning, I collected ceramic deer, books, Star Wars memorabilia, music memorabilia, and records. As I got older, my collections turned to other vintage items, particularly things I could use, like collectible dinnerware, dishes, bowls, etc. </p><p>But, there came a point when I realized I wasn't getting the satisfaction from "things" that I used to get. I think this is also part of growing up. I still had collections, but there was only so much time in the day, as well as funds to support the collections.</p><p>So, over the years, I began getting rid of (and selling online) various collections and things. I knew it was time to let go. </p><p>This purging is fairly normal for most people as they age and acquire new responsibilities, but it doesn't happen to everyone. Some folks like to keep what they collect for as long as they can. I understand this! But my desires, as I shifted into a minimalist mindset years ago, changed me. Things that I thought were bringing me joy were burdening me and costing me money I didn't have. Not to mention, I really didn't have the room to store it all. My kitchen was overflowing.</p><p>So, is there a way to be a minimalist and a collector simultaneously? I think it comes down to two issues within the parameters of responsibility and moderation. Here's how I did it and how I plan on continuing to do it:</p><p><b>Keep only what I love: </b>I realize this is rather vague. I liked all of my collections. from vintage Fire-king dishes, vintage restaurant ware, and <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/PerennialVintageShop?ref=seller-platform-mcnav&section_id=35976619" target="_blank">vintage mugs.</a> But, I knew some things needed to go. I knew what I loved over what I liked. I really wanted to use what I loved and as it turned out, I was only using those things. I wasn't using what I didn't love. If I open my cupboards and can smile at my collection because it makes me happy (not just taking space) then there is my reason for keeping it. Keep only what you love. Your likes will change and preferences will shift over time. Pare down to love.</p><p><b>Keep only what I use:</b> This is debatable because so many collectors of big things, like cars, car parts, furniture, or art, can't "use" everything they own. But, do they try to? That's the point I'm trying to make here. I collect vintage Pyrex. There are dozens of patterns I collect. Do I use them all? No. Not at the same time, but I use them every day, as often as I can, and rotate through them throughout the month. I have a utilitarian collection: I use what I collect as well as collect for the joy of finding (thrifting) and displaying. If you're interested in being a minimalist but still want to have a few collections, then make a point of using or displaying them. If it's just collecting dust, then are you really taking care of your collection? Keep only what you use. The rest is superfluous and borderline hoarding.</p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiApYSFBGGIXjUsQ8lfBAfZbpLTaqFcXWbmEXzHBh79cF11ovrkysmWHnXQL__oAxChbcTHWv4u3kHmEO9c5a-3kBgOpGezWEzWE_rLpxMHAbjcwafXHjRCAPCYeboZrFWRY_leNKKUqVLveKiv5jerSmHPd86VNryeG53-Dk6fpzT-oVX-rWPVQA4MDU5b/s2655/IMG_0683.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A beautiful book about vintage Pyrex called Pyrex Passion" border="0" data-original-height="2655" data-original-width="1991" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiApYSFBGGIXjUsQ8lfBAfZbpLTaqFcXWbmEXzHBh79cF11ovrkysmWHnXQL__oAxChbcTHWv4u3kHmEO9c5a-3kBgOpGezWEzWE_rLpxMHAbjcwafXHjRCAPCYeboZrFWRY_leNKKUqVLveKiv5jerSmHPd86VNryeG53-Dk6fpzT-oVX-rWPVQA4MDU5b/w240-h320/IMG_0683.jpg" title="Pyrex Passion Book" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span><a href="https://amzn.to/48F6cnT" target="_blank">Book rec: If you collect<br />Pyrex, this book is a must! <br />It's practically a work of art.</a><br /><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><b>Side note about hoarding</b>: I've had folks tell me on a social media account of mine focused on my Pyrex collection, that I'm a hoarder. I have to laugh - because I am the opposite of a hoarder, and yet I understand why they say it. They see multiple similar items and wonder about the point. Hoarding, per the <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hoarding" target="_blank">Merriam-Webster dictionary, </a>is "the compulsion to continually accumulate a variety of items that are often considered useless or worthless by others accompanied by an inability to discard the items without great distress."<p></p><p>Hoarding is a real disease and I am sensitive to understanding it. It is awful and I wish all who have this disease relief from it. But my collection is <i>not accumulated under compulsion</i>, the items are <i>not useless or worthless</i>, and I have n<i>o qualms about selling or donating my collection</i>. My main joy in collecting Pyrex is thrifting the items. The fun is in the hunt; questing for the cheapest but most amazing pieces I can add to my collection without having to pay retail (antique store) prices. Once I'm done collecting, I will save a few pieces, and sell it all. This collection does not own me in the least. <br /></p><p>Can you say this about your collections?</p><p>So, keep only what you love and keep only what you use. Those are my two rules for keeping collecting and minimalism on the table together as friends. When you love what you have, the collection doesn't weigh on your shoulders as "stuff." When you use what you have - when your collection is both utilitarian and a satisfactory thing to look at - I find no reason<i> not</i> to hold onto it. It brings you joy.</p><p>The other big part here, other than my collection, is that the rest of my home is minimal. I have nothing else to clutter up my closets, drawers, and cupboards. This gives me the freedom and justification to keep my collection and still call myself a minimalist because the majority of my life has minimalism at its foundation.</p><p>Remember, minimalism isn't about just having the least amount of things possible. We need things to live and operate and to enjoy life. But the moment those things control us, we've lost our focus. We've lost the reason God made us: which is to love others, over things. With minimalism, we remind ourselves that this way of living (and loving) is possible. So, enjoy your collections! And if they've become a burden, then let them go... pare down to love.</p><p>-HJS </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-37071067820461880032023-12-14T11:16:00.000-08:002024-01-12T15:07:40.623-08:00Five Ways to Maintain Minimalism (When the Rest of the Family Isn't)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjucAAHv0ShVhS09H7LldYAbabcgSxHCPEG1u7qp5mc0UxUi6nPOv4RyGV396-OMwbzuBZY0JhpaJBdzQoHixttnb2riJ1pu-bTlQX7tIXh7dZtHtXbqeI6j08587k3aURZ4bMafRlhl0T-MAFTE5tvQhGEd1ZkcygGNMbJbVq8aFXmrBOjk19I5bR2l6-3/s4032/IMG_9654.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A view of a family room with a sofa" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjucAAHv0ShVhS09H7LldYAbabcgSxHCPEG1u7qp5mc0UxUi6nPOv4RyGV396-OMwbzuBZY0JhpaJBdzQoHixttnb2riJ1pu-bTlQX7tIXh7dZtHtXbqeI6j08587k3aURZ4bMafRlhl0T-MAFTE5tvQhGEd1ZkcygGNMbJbVq8aFXmrBOjk19I5bR2l6-3/w240-h320/IMG_9654.jpg" title="Family Room" width="240" /></a></div>My family is not like me. I’m a full-blown minimalist in all areas, and they’d rather wallow in their belongings like pigs in a pen. Rude? Perhaps. Maybe equating them to swine isn’t the kindest. Although, I do love bacon.<p></p><p>But having been where they are, this might be the best way to describe it. Their stuff makes them happy, and they’re content to be surrounded by the excess of them. In essence, they don’t own their things… their things own them. </p><p>I’m still working on this concept too. It’s hard to see how much our stuff controls us. I know this (and can say this in love) because I was exactly like them a few years ago.</p><p>I give them a lot of empathy in this area because it takes time to see the truth of our habits, particularly one that doesn’t seem like a habit but something that is a part of us all. <i>Aren’t we supposed to need things? Don’t we use all that we have? Don’t we need more to exist and have a perfectly normal life?</i></p><p>I used to think this. But these days, my mind has shifted to a “less is more” mentality in most areas of my life. From what I wear, what’s in my house (my part of it anyway), and what I bring in, minimalist aspects are within them all. I even have a large collection of collectible kitchenware and still call myself a minimalist.</p><p>So, how does a minimalist like me live with - and enjoy - living with non-minimalists? Is this even possible? I can tell you it is. And it starts by having control over the areas within which I can maintain my minimalism.</p><p>Here are five ways to maintain minimalism in your life even if the rest of your family isn’t on board with it… yet.</p><p><b>Your closet </b>- This is probably the biggest for most minimal-loving folks and the easiest to adapt to, even if your significant other isn’t interested. My husband and I share a walk-in closet: he has half and I have half – split right down the middle. The goal of minimalism for me is to work on what’s mine. And one of the few things in our house that we don’t share is my clothing. For the last couple of years, I have pared down my closet to the right amount of core pieces that go with everything. My husband has twice as much clothing as me, but that’s okay. My side is tidy and organized, and everything hanging up or on a shelf is something I wear or have worn this past year. I have an eclectic mix of vintage and modern clothing. This part of our closet is mine and it’s exactly as I like it. </p><p><b>Your cosmetics (toiletries)</b> - This is another area that only I have access to. A couple of years ago, I decided going more natural (with fewer chemicals) with my toiletries was necessary not just for a simple life but to combat my auto-immune illness. My make-up takes five minutes to put on because I only put on a few and my lotion is singular: one for my face and body. I don’t have excess cosmetics and my shampoo works as my body wash (it’s an organic and chemical-free one so why not use one for both?). It makes getting ready for the day the easiest it's ever been. From shower to finish, getting ready takes no longer than half an hour (including if I need to blow dry my hair). It’s so nice not having to use as many products. Simple, easy, clean!</p><p><b>Your shoes</b> - This is where I need to improve more. I love shoes. I can pare down my closet to as little as I can, but shoes… please don’t ask me about my shoes. Regardless, as someone who has owned upward of fifty pairs (probably more, but I can't think about it now), I’ve downsized my shoes to about 28 - this includes flip-flops and hiking boots. Again, only I am wearing my shoes. And my husband and two sons all own about ten pairs of shoes or less… so this one is all on me! I’m sure there are a few more pairs I can scale down, but as always, it’s a process. Minimalism takes time not only to undertake but mentally accomplish.</p><p><b>Your collections</b> - I have a huge love for vintage kitchenware. I’ve been collecting since I was a teenager, which means I’ve had decades of collecting. But, this takes up lots of room, and most of the pieces I don’t use (even though collections don’t have to be used.) So, to become the minimalist I yearn to be (free of my possessions that weigh me down) I have donated – and sold online – parts of my collections. Bit by bit, I’ve sold what I have had - because it was time. Someone else gets to enjoy them now. I still have a huge vintage Pyrex collection. But, it doesn’t have a grasp on me. I can sell it all tomorrow if I need to. It’s also the only collection I own - it’s something I enjoy using too.</p><p><b>Your grace (love, empathy, and tolerance)</b> - I step one foot into my sons’ rooms and my head is reeling. They have bookshelves full of books and nicknacks, and their dressers are covered with papers, books, trinkets … things that are important to them. They have so many clothes and don’t wear half of them. Here’s the thing: they know I’m a minimalist, they know how it works and why I do it, but it’s hard for them to adopt this way of living. This is where my grace, love, and empathy come into action. They don’t have to be like me to be loved. I love them anyway. Do I want them to see the (possible) error of their ways? Of course. But, all I can do is be an example. Maybe in time, they will want to adopt minimalism. Meanwhile, I will accept their choice and continue to make my choice.</p><p>If your family hasn’t seen the beautiful truth of minimalism yet, it doesn’t mean you have to live in constant friction with them. Make minimal the areas of life you do have control over and let the other areas come to minimalism in their own time. You can also clean out drawers and closets they don’t use, even parts of the kitchen with utensils and tools you’ve let collect dust. </p><p>For a great book on minimalism, please read Joshua Becker's book <i><b><a href="https://amzn.to/41QBllZ" target="_blank">The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own</a></b>. </i>I read this when it came out years ago and it kickstarted my journey into minimalism. </p><p>Little by little, minimalism can enter all parts of your home. Start with what you can work with - whether it’s your closet or a single drawer all your own - and it will give you a place to retreat to and control when the rest of the family wants nothing to do with it. Understanding that we can live with less – not more– is something we all have to learn in each of our unique ways.</p><p>Merry Christmas, everyone. ♥</p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p><div><i style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">Some links are incentivized. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.</i></div>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-76794328692146392592023-11-06T11:13:00.006-08:002024-01-04T16:12:42.988-08:00You Can't Take it with You<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirf429nWhg8-7aEG1Mlb7ZzJwRTX2p2n_VKPPACYoVX6zeiim7TmZbnBJ5fnCBu8I18H8SGJGW1bSXxnyAdnf0IgbWqEaBo2PtLv8inQAMX1AxJlDKRoLoegEyeiTHvJWx7350ngYc-rl0D5xDlNpHun7o2gI41A0P1tHfuaRsYHX72BrddQgh0leXFevb/s3924/IMG_9269.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A box of household goods to be donated to charity" border="0" data-original-height="3924" data-original-width="2943" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirf429nWhg8-7aEG1Mlb7ZzJwRTX2p2n_VKPPACYoVX6zeiim7TmZbnBJ5fnCBu8I18H8SGJGW1bSXxnyAdnf0IgbWqEaBo2PtLv8inQAMX1AxJlDKRoLoegEyeiTHvJWx7350ngYc-rl0D5xDlNpHun7o2gI41A0P1tHfuaRsYHX72BrddQgh0leXFevb/w240-h320/IMG_9269.jpg" title="Donated Goods" width="240" /></a></div><br />I followed a hearse to my favorite thrift store last week.<p></p><p>The irony of that wasn't lost on me. I was headed to a thrift store to buy stuff following a person who now had no need for stuff.</p><p>I did have a legitimate reason to thrift though. This is how I find my vintage items to sell in my <a href="http://www.perennialvintage.com" target="_blank">online vintage clothing store. </a>Vintage clothing is also ecologically responsible, so guilt didn't have me by the heart. Not to mention, I'm a minimalist. Stuff has less of a hold on me now than it ever has.</p><p>But... it really got me thinking:</p><p><i>How much more stuff do I have in my home that my kids will have to deal with when I'm gone? </i></p><p>As a minimalist, there is less in my home than ever before. But I still have drawers and shelves of things I still need to go through. </p><p>There are Christmas decorations from twenty years ago in my attic that I haven't put out in over ten years.</p><p>Despite my best effort at being minimal, I still had stuff... stuff still had me.</p><p>The hearse, with its dark rich mahogany casket resting softly in the back of the car, wasn't as morbid as it was enlightening. <i>Did that person's family have to go through their things? Are they burdened by it all now? </i></p><p>Then I thought. <i>That could be me in there. </i>I could be leaving my family with tons of stuff that they don't need. Would they feel compelled to keep it in a nostalgic, momento-type way? I didn't want them to have to do that. Sure, they could keep a few items, but <i>all</i> of it?</p><p>The hearse and I turned down the street to the thrift store. It kept on going on to its destination while I turned into the parking lot, noting a line of people waiting to get into the store before it opened. I got out of my car and headed in thinking about the <a href="https://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/organizing/what-is-swedish-death-cleaning" target="_blank">Swedish Death Cleaning </a>concept. </p><p>Don't know what this is? I'd only heard about it a few years ago. It began in Sweden and other Scandinavian countries and is the concept of cleaning out what you have <i>now</i> so you don't burden your family with it <i>later.</i> It's genius.</p><p>And it is so anti-American it's astounding.</p><p>There is a great book about it (that I have yet to get on my <a href="https://amzn.to/3tVBCHq" target="_blank">Kindle</a>) called <i><a href="https://amzn.to/3NLKA19" target="_blank">The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.</a></i> It covers all you'd ever need to know to get one's possessions under control.</p><p><i>So how do we combat our consumption problem</i>? By being content with what we have; choosing to take in less, giving away more, and keeping only what works, serves, and helps us. This is what I try to do:</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Hold Some</span>:</b> There are some deeply loved items and possessions to which we have an emotional attachment. It's okay to keep some of those. We should. But, just so you know, it's also okay to throw away yearbooks and old photos that don't mean anything. I know... sounds crazy. It's also alright to throw away journals and keepsakes that aren't really "sakes" but more "keeps." </p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Give Away Some:</b> </span>The biggest blessing is giving away items. I can't tell you how marvelous it is to do this. There's such a joy that springs forth that it makes me want to give <i>everything</i> away. There are times when I'm tempted to sell an item or two on eBay. And that's alright. But, the gift of giving feels better than making money any day.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Opt to Bring in Less</b>:</span> This is where I fail regularly. A "less is more" lifestyle means not only decluttering regularly but choosing not to shop online or offline regularly. When I'm out thrifting, it is tempting to buy way more than I need - and not just for my shop. I'm talking about items for the house, the family, clothing, etc. When prices are cheap it's easy to think it's a deal and it should jump into your cart. This is where I have to be intentional. <i>Do I need this? Do I already have something like this at home that works just fine? If I bought this today, would I regret it tonight?</i></p><p>You can't take it with you. </p><p>While we should enjoy life - there will always be fun but responsible purchases to make - we should also be planning for the future. I don't want to burden my family with my stuff. Things that are valuable to me may not be to them. Actually, I know this to be true.<i> They will not want them. </i>I've already asked my kids about some items. They don't want them!</p><p>I'm lucky my parents already downsized - they're living a simple, minimal, and very happy life in their condo. But getting there took a lot of work! They pared down and we kids helped them pare down too. It was overwhelming at the time but the best choice they could have made. They did their <a href="https://www.dumpsters.com/blog/how-to-do-swedish-death-cleaning" target="_blank">Swedish Death Cleaning </a>and we are all better for it.</p><p>The hearse will be for me one day. I want to live a satisfied life knowing I don't need much to be happy. But I also don't need to bequeath my silly trinkets - and collectibles they don't want - to my family.</p><p>I want to save my family more grief and be responsible with my possessions now.</p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p><p><i style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-size: 14px;">Some links are incentivized. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.</i></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-19272700757606313222023-10-18T14:11:00.012-07:002024-01-12T15:06:54.121-08:00Book Review: The Road Less Traveled<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip4Lakw2HPsm6AI0pghOUYXY_Tc2w6g-lh3A3Iiy1VD9dwnoKiey3Y9McjNQaqqu7DPFFZNdQ3WeBVWYjx0ZQIxhbU0WXP9hNAp6Zkia3GnLWIPHn4yQTyoADJuFtotIPHKxq0pBTAkyx_ZKQNIJr2-AFSe6RtqAZaihNC8OKLxPQopG0bIh3Sqaq8k3Vf/s4032/IMG_8239.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="A dirt path along a green shrubbed road" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip4Lakw2HPsm6AI0pghOUYXY_Tc2w6g-lh3A3Iiy1VD9dwnoKiey3Y9McjNQaqqu7DPFFZNdQ3WeBVWYjx0ZQIxhbU0WXP9hNAp6Zkia3GnLWIPHn4yQTyoADJuFtotIPHKxq0pBTAkyx_ZKQNIJr2-AFSe6RtqAZaihNC8OKLxPQopG0bIh3Sqaq8k3Vf/w240-h320/IMG_8239.jpg" title="A road less traveled" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Like<b> <i><a href="https://amzn.to/3U4HSrF" target="_blank">Tuesdays with Morrie</a></i></b>, the book I read and reviewed a few weeks ago, my latest review is on a book that I read about twenty years ago. It too was more compelling than ever. This book is <i><b><a href="https://amzn.to/4aLycba" target="_blank">The Road Less Traveled,</a></b></i> by Dr. Scott Peck. Let me start off by saying Dr. Peck's observations (as a psychiatrist and human being) are incredible and there is a reason this book sold millions.<p></p><p>Just like in the book I read before, age, experience, relationships, and heartbreak, change how we view everything. Life is hard (which is how he opens up the book... I don't know of a better opener than that). But, he points out one fact that got me underlining and highlighting scores of paragraphs and it was this - which also sums up the book: we are lazy.</p><p>While I balked at this, because I don't consider myself lazy, he began to explain away my scoffing and excuses. He began to prove his point. He says this:</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>"The myth of Adam and Eve can again be used to illustrate this</i> [laziness]. <i>One might say, for instance, that it was not laziness that prevented Adam and Eve from questioning God as to the reasons behind His law but fear --fear in the face of the awesomeness of God, fear of the wrath of God. But while all fear is not laziness, much fear is exactly that. Much of our fear is fear of a change in the status quo, a fear that we might lose what we have if we venture forth from where we are now.... the basis of fear is laziness, it is the fear of the work they </i>[Adam and Eve] <i>would have to do.... " </i></p><p>This blew me away. Fear is synonymous with laziness. He goes on to say, </p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>"We have a sick self and a healthy self. No matter how neurotic or even psychotic we may be, even if we seem to be totally fearful and completely rigid, there is still a part of us however small that wants us to grow, that likes change and development, that is attracted to the new and the unknown and that is willing to do the work and take the risks involved in spiritual evolution. And no matter how seemingly healthy and spiritually evolved we are, there is still a part of us, however small, that does not want us to exert ourselves, that clings to the old and familiar, fearful of any change or effort desiring comfort at any coast and absence of pain at any price...."</i></p><p>What really got me believing he was right was looking at my writing background. I wrote a middle-grade book over ten years ago, but I desire to write more... and yet, I haven't been willing to do the background work to get there. I've written words, but haven't had others read them, nor have looked for an editor to look at it, to get an agent to look at it. These things have hindered me. </p><p>I should've started writing for children with younger children's magazines first, writing short stories for them, then moved on to longer stories for older kids, and getting published there too. I should've joined a children's writing group and reached out to local writing groups... all sorts of things. But, I was lazy. I wanted to bypass all of that because- why? Because these things are hard and they are fear-based ideas (for me). It's rejection, more hard work, more sacrifice, and then even more rejection.</p><p>But, life is hard.</p><p>I don't get a pass just because things are hard. I'm not naturally gifted at writing, I've had to work at it, so I wasn't going to be the next Stephanie Meyers (Twilight Series) who randomly wrote and submitted, got accepted, and sold a bajillion books. That's abnormal. </p><p>So Peck was right. Laziness is the issue. It's up to me to change this. And I've begun. I've joined <a href="https://www.scbwi.org/" target="_blank">SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators)</a> and I'm going to try to get connected to more writers. I've begun to write more - not books but articles and also children's short stories and poetry. Things I can get published through magazines that can help me acquire the skills to write better, and hopefully, more books. Study the craft, read more books, take seminars, and listen to what others have done.</p><p>Fear leads to laziness but once we see it and try to change that part of us, I think we've begun to live the life God intends. In all areas, though. Not just our work, but our relationships. I've been lazy in areas of my marriage, in raising my kids, and in my friendships. All of these valuable things stay valuable and real if I remain active. Reaching out to friends when I don't want to; addressing my children's needs when I feel I've already done enough for them; and being the wife my husband needs, not the one I think he needs. All of that. As Peck says, <i>"An essential part of discipline is the development of an awareness of our responsibility and power of choice."</i></p><p>It's up to me to choose to not be lazy. Everyday.</p><p>Read the book. <b><i>The Road Less Traveled</i> </b>is essentially a self-help book with a HUGE dose of honesty that serves to help and protect all of us if we listen to and heed Dr. Peck's honest and brilliant advice.</p><p>Five stars.</p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Some links are incentivized. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.</i></span></span></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-4822195519419884482023-09-12T14:25:00.007-07:002024-01-04T16:18:12.937-08:00Book Review: Tuesdays with Morrie<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS9Qm8d9cbWlz1G0ulZr6mXUl69RpsWeYAM5P_45s0e-XGipnPttNTw1nlpIG972dhLoElXZyaKJQUuF1ZYE3UAfNDmrnf-7Ot8K2Sh1Hy_Dv2ePz2Qhe9sokfOBG26q8cIqU2B3dE05WlGzEpgduyL1ATaqVqr4t0vs-luNQNnYZ4fVOcNST3Tx-v2dR7/s3696/IMG_7492.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Hand holding a book" border="0" data-original-height="3696" data-original-width="2772" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS9Qm8d9cbWlz1G0ulZr6mXUl69RpsWeYAM5P_45s0e-XGipnPttNTw1nlpIG972dhLoElXZyaKJQUuF1ZYE3UAfNDmrnf-7Ot8K2Sh1Hy_Dv2ePz2Qhe9sokfOBG26q8cIqU2B3dE05WlGzEpgduyL1ATaqVqr4t0vs-luNQNnYZ4fVOcNST3Tx-v2dR7/w240-h320/IMG_7492.jpg" title="Tuesdays with Morrie" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://amzn.to/3U4HSrF" target="_blank">Tuesdays with Morrie</a></i></td></tr></tbody></table> About fifteen years ago, I read the book <b><a href="https://amzn.to/3U4HSrF" target="_blank"><i>Tuesdays with Morrie</i>. </a></b><p></p><p>Fifteen years ago I was a different person. In my early thirties, raising two young sons, and getting a grasp on the writing career I still wanted despite my schedule being more about my boys, I thought this book was interesting.</p><p>Just that. Interesting.</p><p>It sounds banal and annoying to say I thought it was interesting. But, it was. While it struck a chord within me (a soft one) that the story was sentimental, heart-warming, and heartbreaking, there is something to be said about life experiences that change a person. I guess I was banal and annoying back then. The book didn't mean much.</p><p>But life experiences change a person.</p><p>I suppose we are all naive in our early years. Which really means we're all insensitive. I take umbrage at that description for myself but after reading the book again, that's the only way to put it. </p><p>Now that I've gone through fifteen more years of more pain and joy, heartbreak and happiness, this story was more than interesting. This book was almost, dare I say it, the meaning of life.</p><p>It sounds sacrilegious to say because, for me, the Bible is my main "meaning of life" book. But, what the author did with his story - about the relationship he had with his professor going through university and then reconnecting later on with him when they were older - was reveal the secret wisdom his professor had figured out. What was that wisdom? </p><p>He figured out how to live an authentically real and happy life.</p><p>Life isn't about stuff, it's about people. It isn't about working harder, working faster, owning more, and upgrading everything we own (or presume to own.)</p><p>Life, according to him, with every good and bad thing he'd been through, is about three things (and I'm seriously paraphrasing here): loving others, helping others, and doing something that gives meaning to the world. i.e. making a difference.</p><p>As a sociology professor, with a Jewish background who took from many religions to understand his position in life (Christianity, Buddism, and Judaism), he took on his challenge - to love, to help, and to make a difference - and tried to uphold this noble way of living with each person he came in contact with.</p><p>Was this man perfect? No. Aren't there other people who do amazing things and are never written about? Yes. This professor just happened to have a student who became a writer. The book was born out of a way to love, to help others, and to make a difference. The author, Mitch Albom, with his book, became the <i>living </i>words of his professor.</p><p>That's pretty fantastic.</p><p>This book is old, it's been reviewed a gazillion times. There are other good books out there like this. I'm sure of it. But, seeing that I reread it and that initial chord that struck me the first time (soft) turned into one that hammered me in my heart (loud), I have to recommend it. </p><p>It's about life, living, death, disease, paying attention to the important things, and ignoring the time-wasting events of our day. It's about being authentic and moving toward being happy with what we <i>already have.</i></p><p>I suppose the book has elements of minimalism. Maybe that's why I love it more than I used to. I'm also getting older. I also know I could die today, just <i>because </i>I'm older - this isn't something I was pondering fifteen years ago. </p><p>This professor and his words live on in this book decades after it was written. And I can't stop thinking about it. Find it on <b><a href="https://amzn.to/3U4HSrF" target="_blank">Amazon</a></b> or get it on <a href="https://libbyapp.com/interview/welcome#doYouHaveACard" target="_blank">Libby (library reading app) </a>for free. It's not long, about 200 pages, reads quickly, and leaves you with a new way of looking at life if you really let the story speak to you. This is the key: let it sink in and speak.</p><p>Five stars. </p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><i style="background-color: white; color: #242424; font-size: 14px;">Some links are incentivized. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.</i></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-2071781967765678392023-08-11T15:36:00.005-07:002024-01-04T16:15:25.443-08:00Minimal Living and Slow Fashion<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlpCvSuw5TQbM-0iKWdbeA_-YsO-3naB57qauxpAY1k_DQeAnRhKAgccsabTYbheNhOB4Nmz4SPwBS-XRaYYa1XAIIpbzXxwBNN4oGp-T2Q28e7ngVq472W6J3Kl-Ofn3m9qHF0_Ulx8BcUKSM-frS6NqqMCek1mPTI1Uw92h9_-R9bBWjxTYOD4ngGrxl/s1449/7E45D9FB-2DF6-48B0-BF6B-4CE4297CF984.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A jean jacket hanging up on a hook" border="0" data-original-height="1449" data-original-width="1170" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlpCvSuw5TQbM-0iKWdbeA_-YsO-3naB57qauxpAY1k_DQeAnRhKAgccsabTYbheNhOB4Nmz4SPwBS-XRaYYa1XAIIpbzXxwBNN4oGp-T2Q28e7ngVq472W6J3Kl-Ofn3m9qHF0_Ulx8BcUKSM-frS6NqqMCek1mPTI1Uw92h9_-R9bBWjxTYOD4ngGrxl/w258-h320/7E45D9FB-2DF6-48B0-BF6B-4CE4297CF984.JPG" title="Vintage denim" width="258" /></a></div>I suppose I've been a minimalist for years.<p></p><p>Maybe not in all things, but in quite a few areas of my life. My brain works best when there is less around me (i.e. a clean desk to write) and because of that, it's trickled into other areas. I've been a "neat" person since I was born, and that's just how I am. A place for everything and everything in its place.</p><p>But, when did it really begin? When did the "less is more" concept take over my life? I think my minimalism mindset kicked in hard when I turned to vintage as a career and a way of life. I've been selling <a href="http://www.perennial-vintage.com" target="_blank">vintage clothing online</a> for over thirteen years. That alone changed the way I viewed clothing and how horribly our entire world manages this "need." We have become a throw-away society, and I'm not just spouting what I've read. This is 100 percent true.</p><p>I am in thrift stores at least three days a week sourcing for my shop. About 99.9% of this clothing is probably within five years old. But maybe closer to two. <i>Two! </i>Why do we have so many new clothes in these stores? </p><p>I'll tell you: we want more.</p><p>Many of the clothes I maniacally swipe through looking for vintage are the fast-fashion chains of the mall: Zara, Target, Forever 21, etc. This is a fast-fashion approach to living and for some, that's their way of life. That's fine. I see why because I used to be this way. Target was my best friend. What's a shirt here, a bathing suit there? 'Tis nothing.</p><p>Well, actually, it is something; it's a whole closet full of things I don't wear. So then I donate some. And start again. Just like the rest of the world. It's a vicious cycle.</p><p>An expensive vicious cycle.</p><p>But it's mostly us thinking we need more. When really, we can do so much more with less. I heard that 85% of thrifted store clothing never sells and is sent to landfills. This makes my skin crawl. I loathe myself for even thinking I needed tons of new clothes - every year - back in the day. </p><p>But, this is where vintage changed me.</p><p>Vintage clothing is made differently. It is quality materials with quality craftsmanship. They are items meant to be worn for a very long time. Years ago, pieces were handed down to family members; denim was repaired over and over again; you wore the same jacket with patches and holes in it because it was "still perfectly good."</p><p>So, where are those people anymore? </p><p>I guess for a good chunk of us, this isn't even an ideal to strive for. We aren't attracted to owning less. We want new and we want to flaunt it. For me? All I want is a good pair of jeans and a real wool cardigan. I want real fabrics that are well-made. There are a few manufacturers still in the business of creating quality. But they are rare. And those who like it -- the "buy less buy better" folks - are just as rare.</p><p>Except in the vintage/heritage wear community, which is where I fit in. The desire to own less, to own quality is heavy on our souls. We pride ourselves in not having to buy copious amounts of new clothes, and if we do, we buy quality heritage wear (clothing we could pass down) or vintage clothing. </p><p>"So, this is all nice and dandy," I can hear you say. "But, it's not for me."</p><p>Okay, that's fine. Minimalism isn't for everyone. But, what really pushed me even <i>more</i> into a minimalist lifestyle was when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. To "manage" this disease, I had to change my stress load. When I was diagnosed, I was working four different jobs (plus being a wife and mom.) Something had to give.</p><p>Actually, a lot had to give to regain my health. And I'm still working on it. That journey is a long one, but to even find the impetus to get going that way - to become healthy again - I had to give up two jobs. This simplified my life tremendously. Subtracting two work emails from my phone was life-giving. Then I cleaned out my closet. I mean really cleaned it out. To where I have empty shelves and only wear what I love and love what I wear. Then I cleared out the photos on my phone's albums. Have you done that lately? It's like a wave of water has washed over me and I'm reborn. I got rid of apps I don't use, and closed down social media I don't want.</p><p>I only sell vintage and write freelance now. And I could not be happier. My life is de-stressed.</p><p>I'm enamored with my emptier days. There is freedom in an open schedule. I only worry about things that I want to worry about. Things like, "I have a vintage Pyrex collection. Do I still qualify as a minimalist?"</p><p>Being a vintage lover with an illness has made me a minimalist because I only hold onto what I love and what is well-made. I'm keeping things in my life that mean something; the true things, the real things. Things like friends and family. Like my senior dog, Sierra, who prefers to nap 20 hours a day. My garden. Yoga classes. Thrifting for vintage Pyrex and drinking hot coffee on the patio in the morning knowing I don't have to rush anywhere or be somewhere at some time. Talking to God.</p><p>Deep breathes.</p><p>It's about slow living instead of fast living. Slow fashion instead of fast fashion.</p><p>I only have to worry about things that really matter. And if that's all it takes to be a minimalist, then I'm in it for life.</p><p><br /></p><p>-HJS</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967070338672067994.post-85624498201547540022023-07-17T08:13:00.000-07:002024-01-04T16:19:09.107-08:00Fireworks and my Pup<p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhixlBVV_C8oHIBR2G-Wez96Q_fcD3jkeARJeFIJhEHW7UyZ2EJlgwE-onu1FDI6HXqvcdwY8nezB5kZdaW-gjVxWuTkXE8L141Lqz70eS9-4fsr5bUV9FxIZ1pH1jqS9O0tDiwqBFzraTgsI-COtHifdIPavtSq8CDwQcgvGuXn8udwR-Jfdot6dGyjsFX/s4032/IMG_4913.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A fluffy dog staring at you" border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhixlBVV_C8oHIBR2G-Wez96Q_fcD3jkeARJeFIJhEHW7UyZ2EJlgwE-onu1FDI6HXqvcdwY8nezB5kZdaW-gjVxWuTkXE8L141Lqz70eS9-4fsr5bUV9FxIZ1pH1jqS9O0tDiwqBFzraTgsI-COtHifdIPavtSq8CDwQcgvGuXn8udwR-Jfdot6dGyjsFX/w240-h320/IMG_4913.jpg" title="Goldendoodle" width="240" /></a></div>My dog ran to the empty bathtub, hopped in, and looked at me from behind the shower curtain. She wasn’t budging.<p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-17b752c0-7fff-8ebc-d455-50b961e84df5"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This was going to be a very long 4th of July.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I used to love Independence Day. And truthfully, I still do. I’m as patriotic as Uncle Sam; happy to revel in our independence from the British empire. The 4th is a beautiful day to celebrate freedom, love for our country, and all the barbeque we can eat. Not to mention, the fun fireworks.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">What I hadn’t understood in the past was how poorly a lot of animals adapt to fireworks, or rather, don’t adapt at all. Growing up, my two dogs didn’t take much issue with fireworks. It wasn’t a problem. The booming sounds didn’t disrupt their calm. So, naturally, it didn’t seem like a “thing” to have anxious dogs on the 4th.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I couldn’t have been more wrong.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">My husband, our sons, and I got our rescue pup over a dozen years ago, and as soon the 4th was upon us, I understood one thing: that whole concept of happy critters on the 4th – like us humans – was a myth.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">My previous dogs were unusual. What I now had in front of me – the shaking, terrified, sniffling, cowering, and severely scared sweet dog – was not only more standard but almost a norm for most folks all over the US</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">That’s when the uncontrollable shaking began, and if you’ve never seen an animal go through this, it’s on the horrific side. My dog began shaking and did this for hours. The hop into the bathtub was a safe place for her. And yet, there was nothing to calm her down. The amount of energy she expelled was like running a marathon. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">This year, the fireworks were loud and intense, and they began about four days before the 4th and continued a couple of days afterward. While my dog is older and has been through many seasons of fireworks, she still becomes highly agitated, shaking, and panting for hours. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">After an initial bathtub run, she went to my son’s room and scooted as close to the bed as possible (without getting under it because she doesn’t fit!) which conveniently was next to a fan blowing cool air and minimizing the loud booms. She stayed there for most of the night. Which was a wonderful thing. This may have been the first 4th of July that I got some sleep, too. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">It would seem, she has adapted just enough to self-soothe herself. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">But, I also think her age, lessening hearing, and memory for the loud sounds are finally doing her some good. In a way, she has acclimated to the sounds, and it has desensitized her. If I had known how badly she would react to fireworks over the next decade I would have done what I could to desensitize her earlier. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">During the first two years of my pup’s life, she didn’t know what fireworks were, and her fear of them was equivalent to a toddler’s curiosity; which was no fear at all. We thought everything was great until, about her third year, after a particularly loud New Year’s Eve Fireworks episode.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">That was the end of my naivete.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I’ve read that dogs have hearing four times better than humans and a cat’s hearing, is better than that. So with fireworks, we have the dual negative of the fireworks noise and its unpredictability. Not to mention the flashing lights and unusual smells. Combined, this is a recipe for disaster. <a href="https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/general-pet-care/fourth-july-safety-tips" target="_blank">Fireworks cause animals to flee from their safe environments because they are so traumatized by the noise;</a> running to a “safer” place, which ends up not being not safe at all. And many times, animals become lost. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Fireworks also affect wildlife, from birds to coyotes, deer, and everything in between. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">While there are many tools on the market to help combat fireworks fears, most of them don’t work. I know because I’ve tried. The best I can do is hold, hug, and keep talking to her. I turn on the fans to create a soothing white noise, we close the windows, and when we go to bed, if she’s still shaking, all we can do is hope for the best. In the past she would roam from room to room, panting, shaking, and cowering for hours. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Now, she has learned to dig into the panic by finding a safe spot to lie down. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Most nights, my dog sleeps in her bed just outside my bedroom. But two days of the year, New Year’s Eve and the 4th of July are exceptions: my door is open, and I allow her to come in our room and lie down right next to me if she wants to. I would do nearly anything to make her feel better.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">On the 4th of July and New Year's Eve, my dog and I are a miserable mess together.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Here's a little advice for pet owners on the 4th: <a href="https://www.avma.org/resources/pet-owners/petcare/july-4-safety#:~:text=Keep%20your%20pets%20inside%20if,in%20use%20or%20still%20hot." target="_blank">Do what you can to distract and minimize their trauma; keep them inside, turn on fans as white noise, play soothing music, and stay next to them. If they have you nearby, that is one less stress on their little bodies.</a> And if you can desensitize them to the noise early on, when they're puppies, you'll thank yourself later.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">While I can’t explain to my dog why we have these crazy things called fireworks, and though I can’t make it go away, I can try to ease her trauma, soothe her anxiety, and hopefully, with every passing year, get her a little more accustomed to the sounds. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Even if firework joy has lessened in its value and fun for me, I understand the appeal. I just wish it didn’t hurt animals like it does. Since I can't change this, I’ll keep doing what I can for my pup as long as she lets me.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">God bless America and God bless our animals.</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div></span>Heather Spivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413133808058265715noreply@blogger.com0