3 Ways to Wear Vintage with Modern Fashion

I sell a lot of vintage clothing, and because of that - and because this "vintage selling" has taken place over the last thirteen years - I own a lot of various vintage pieces, for various parts of my wardrobe as well.

This means I've learned how to wear vintage, what vintage to wear, without these key pieces making you look like you're in a costume.

Trust me, that's one of the biggest issues folks fear when they buy vintage. There are a few who can get away with it - they can do the entire 1940s outfit because that's the persona they want to emit - but most people who buy vintage from me, and most of the vintage I wear, go with modern pieces I already have, or pieces my customers already have in their closet.

So, where do you begin? How do you add a small but amazing punch to your wardrobe without knowing where to start? How do you wear vintage with a modern wardrobe?

Slow fashion is about buying quality clothing that transcends trends. Vintage clothing fits deeply into the slow fashion movement. Buy less, but buy quality and vintage is quality. Here are three ways to liven up your wardrobe with key vintage pieces that will give your outfit that pizzazz and "wow factor" you've been looking for.

Belts - I have a thing for vintage belts. No, I'm serious. For the last decade or so, I've amassed a collection of many belts (I’ve pared down to 20 or so in my minimalist years. Yes, I really do wear them regularly. It's easy to add a belt to your outfit every day!) and of those belts, when I tire of a few, I sell them in my vintage shop. I also love belts so much that a huge chunk of the items in my shop are belts. I sell men's and women's belts because they are such a fun piece to perk up a look. People love to take them off my hands, too. I sell belts almost every day. 

Belts have been worn since the Bronze Age and have really been a part of the person's outfit from the beginning of time. I'm not sure when it was decided that belts didn't serve a purpose anymore -- particularly for women -- but every size and every shape should wear belts. From an old 1940s leather novelty belt to a more modern 1990s black studded belt, nothing says "wow!" more than a belt that is thrown on with your jeans, a dress, shorts, or even a skirt.

And let me rant a moment, since I have you here... have you seen belts today? Most aren't close to the quality that standard, everyday belts, were once made. Back in the day, most belts were only made with real leather, not bonded leather or now, even worse, (thank you, Target) plastic. Though a few companies still use real leather and make quality belts, you will pay a premium for them. Which is fine. Buy quality, buy less, and have it for a lifetime. And with vintage belts, you get that quality at a price that's affordable which at times, can surpass the modern competition's price point.

Bandanas - Bandanas had a surge in popularity when the dreaded COVID hit, and many folks, never stopped wearing them. Bandanas have a way of sharpening up your look. You can wear them around your neck, and even this decision has variety. Some people wear the bandana to show the tied ends in front, others want to show the bandana instead, and some folks wear bandanas in their hair or around their wrists. Heck, even a bandana in the pocket gives you an edge to your outfit that others don't have. Bandanas are quintessentially American and everyone should have at least one.

I've been wearing bandanas for a good decade now and unlike jewelry, they give a unique look that is very different than a necklace statement piece. Bandanas, like scarves, can accent an outfit and if you've watched any modern-day western, (think Yellowstone) they sure come in handy on your ranch. Or at least, for me, my proverbial one.

Hats - This is one element that I've shied away from. Not because I don't like hats,  but because hats are absolute statement pieces and I'm not one for attracting attention to myself. Baseball hats, not so much, but any other kind of hat, and I can guarantee people will stand up and take notice. We've got cowboy hats, berets, Greek fisherman's caps, fascinators... all of these pieces are incredible and with the right outfit, will take your look up a notch. Vintage hats are easy to find. I'm in thrift stores regularly and old hats are there. They're everywhere, in fact; wide-brimmed "racehorse hats" (the kind the ladies wear to the races), to trapper hats with flaps over the ears. Hats are magical.

While I own a few hats (a couple of beanies, and a couple of ball caps), I've sold a plethora to the happy masses and there's a reason for it: hats make the outfit. If you're hesitant like me, start small... maybe a newspaper boy hat, or a beanie, and if the wide-brimmed cowboy hats are something you've wanted to try, then do it! And how about this: you don't even have to buy vintage for any of these. The point is, new or vintage, these things can make you look your best. But, if you want to add vintage to your wardrobe, this is one of the easiest to incorporate.

These are three simple ways to add vintage to your modern outfits -- belts, bandanas, and hats -- and are generally inexpensive, even if they're new (Okay, cowboy hats can fetch and demand a pretty penny, particularly name-brand ones like Stetson, etc).

Vintage clothing has been a part of my life for so long that I don’t know how not to wear it. Half of my closet is vintage, and that's not changing anytime soon. I love the blend of modern and vintage styles and they work seamlessly together if you know what pieces you want and the style you're going for.

These vintage pieces may be small and simple, but they make a statement. I've gotten compliments for years on these three items and it never surprises me because these three forgotten accessories can make anyone look like they have it all together... even if they don't.

-HJS

4 Ways to Cope with Losing your Best (Pet) Friend

The subject of this post sat in my drafts for weeks: 4 Ways to Cope with Losing your Best (Pet) Friend. I'd written the title, and I knew what I wanted to write but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it... even though it was burning a hole in my heart since the day she passed nearly two months ago. 

Sierra

How do I begin? That was the biggest hang-up. There was no perfect place to begin because there were many things I wanted to say about her. There were no perfect topics to start the post because they were as varied as they were important; all were special things, all incredible. She was my best friend. 

It's difficult to deal with losing a pet. It's hard to mentally "let go" of a being you've taken care of for years. My dog is gone. My best friend isn't here anymore.

When God created dogs, he created a companion that he knew man or woman needed: a faithful, devoted, and happy sidekick. Which is probably the most perfect description of a best friend. Those are descriptives we strive to find in human friends but don't find consistently because humans are well, just that... human. We aren't perfect, we make mistakes, and we aren't there for our family and friends the way we should be. We're self-absorbed and busy and I'm top of my list for being selfish. Getting out of my own way is a daily struggle.

Fortunately for us, most pets aren't made that way. Especially pups. They are there for us at any time, at any moment of any day of their sweet existence. We write about our dogs, we talk about our dogs, we take pictures and post videos about our dogs because they are faithful, devoted, and happy pets. Basically, they act the way we humans should but fail to do.

All pets are a love offering, dropped into our laps, that we get to take care of. As we talk to them and hold them, shots of the feel-good hormone oxytocin are released into our bodies. This deeply connects us to them. And these love hormones also keep us from wanting to give them away when they destroy, steal, take, or hide things that they shouldn't. Which can be a daily occurrence. (I think they do this to gain attention because they love us so much!)

It's been two months since my dog, Sierra, left us and I'm still not sure if there is a right or wrong way to grieve a pet. But here's how I coped with losing my dog and what you can do to possibly ease the pain of losing your best pet friend.

Talk about your pet. This is key. Don't stop talking about your pet just because they're not there. They are still there... in your heart, soul, and mind. My husband and I still reference her when we're out for a walk remembering how she loved meeting humans more than other dogs. We talk about how we think we still see her in our peripheral vision in our home or "hear" her walking across the tile floor. Talking about our pets lets us expel pent-up feelings over losing them. Talking about our pets takes the edge of loss away from the front of our hearts. So, instead of feeling deep heartache every time you think of your pet, the words you speak turn your feelings into a deep "heart heal."

Look at the pictures. I only took about a million photos of my dog when she was alive. Along with my two sons, they are the other most oft-taken photos on my phone. I look at her pictures daily. I even received two beautiful Christmas ornaments with photos of her in them. They were front and center of my tree last year.  Healing comes from acceptance and I am accepting my pet's loss through looking at photos of her. I have a frame ready for a picture of her and will put that out as soon as I bring myself to print some photos. Look at pictures of your pet. Remind yourself of how much they were a part of your lives. They were invaluable.

Understand that love is never wasted. There is a great quote by C.S. Lewis that says this, "Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity." It's saying you don't have to receive love back to gain the benefits of love given; love doesn't come back to us void. Giving love is the highest form of any action. I mean, it's even the number one thing Jesus commanded us to do. But when it comes to pets, your pet most likely loved you back! There was no waste. I got to love my dog and was blessed to have that same love returned to me every day of the nearly 14 years she was with us.

Pet other pets. This one's pretty obvious. My desire to not only look at other dogs - but pet them - is at an all-time high right now. I try to pet most dogs I randomly pass on a walk, or in the street near my house. On one walk, a beautiful golden retriever found his way straight to me, and you better believe I was petting that sweet face! Find other animals, or other pets, just like the pet you lost to still feel connected to your late fur baby. Being able to pet other animals similar to the one you lost is a special thing. It's like re-entering the world after you've been sick. You're not quite whole yet, but getting back to life with things you used to do feels a little more exhilarating than usual. 

To me, dogs are the ultimate example of embodied unconditional love; selfless to their literal dying day. Sure, they have their precocious ways as a puppy. But they turn into unbelievable companions. Which is exactly what my dog was to me.

While these four coping options don't necessarily ameliorate the pet-sized hole in our hearts, they certainly lessen it which gives us a more functional existence as we navigate grief. Loss is a part of life. And if we didn't know loss, we couldn't measure our love. My sweet pup is gone, but I'm blessed I got to love her. Now, more than sadness, I feel thankful that I was given the chance to love her for as long as I did. What a gift!

-HJS

How to have a Collection and Still be a Minimalist

I'm going to dive into an area that is near and dear to my heart: collecting.

I'm going to explain why I call myself a minimalist while owning a vintage Pyrex collection that is huge and still growing.

Let's go over the basics. What is a collection? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a collection is "an accumulation of objects gathered for study, comparison, or exhibition or as a hobby." I'm going to reiterate, for emphasis, the word hobby. Because that's what my collection - and most people who have collections - take their collection to be: a hobby. 

One collection is fine. Even two. Perhaps even three or four. 

But when is it too much? How will I know?

Since I was a kid, I've been collecting something. I think most collections for adults begin in their youth. There is a giant world of things to collect and for me, this was how I learned to value objects and to take care of those things as well. My love of vintage began in my early years and is probably why I cling to it today. In the beginning, I collected ceramic deer, books, Star Wars memorabilia, music memorabilia, and records. As I got older, my collections turned to other vintage items, particularly things I could use, like collectible dinnerware, dishes, bowls, etc. 

But, there came a point when I realized I wasn't getting the satisfaction from "things" that I used to get. I think this is also part of growing up. I still had collections, but there was only so much time in the day, as well as funds to support the collections.

So, over the years, I began getting rid of (and selling online) various collections and things. I knew it was time to let go. 

This purging is fairly normal for most people as they age and acquire new responsibilities, but it doesn't happen to everyone. Some folks like to keep what they collect for as long as they can. I understand this! But my desires, as I shifted into a minimalist mindset years ago, changed me. Things that I thought were bringing me joy were burdening me and costing me money I didn't have. Not to mention, I really didn't have the room to store it all. My kitchen was overflowing.

So, is there a way to be a minimalist and a collector simultaneously? I think it comes down to two issues within the parameters of responsibility and moderation. Here's how I did it and how I plan on continuing to do it:

Keep only what I love: I realize this is rather vague. I liked all of my collections. from vintage Fire-king dishes, vintage restaurant ware, and vintage mugs.  But, I knew some things needed to go. I knew what I loved over what I liked. I really wanted to use what I loved and as it turned out, I was only using those things. I wasn't using what I didn't love. If I open my cupboards and can smile at my collection because it makes me happy (not just taking space) then there is my reason for keeping it. Keep only what you love. Your likes will change and preferences will shift over time. Pare down to love.

Keep only what I use: This is debatable because so many collectors of big things, like cars, car parts, furniture, or art, can't "use" everything they own. But, do they try to? That's the point I'm trying to make here. I collect vintage Pyrex. There are dozens of patterns I collect. Do I use them all? No. Not at the same time, but I use them every day, as often as I can, and rotate through them throughout the month. I have a utilitarian collection: I use what I collect as well as collect for the joy of finding (thrifting) and displaying. If you're interested in being a minimalist but still want to have a few collections, then make a point of using or displaying them. If it's just collecting dust, then are you really taking care of your collection? Keep only what you use. The rest is superfluous and borderline hoarding.

Book rec: If you collect
Pyrex, this book is a must! 
It's practically a work of art.

Side note about hoarding: I've had folks tell me on a social media account of mine focused on my Pyrex collection, that I'm a hoarder. I have to laugh - because I am the opposite of a hoarder, and yet I understand why they say it. They see multiple similar items and wonder about the point. Hoarding, per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is "the compulsion to continually accumulate a variety of items that are often considered useless or worthless by others accompanied by an inability to discard the items without great distress."

Hoarding is a real disease and I am sensitive to understanding it. It is awful and I wish all who have this disease relief from it. But my collection is not accumulated under compulsion, the items are not useless or worthless, and I have no qualms about selling or donating my collection. My main joy in collecting Pyrex is thrifting the items. The fun is in the hunt; questing for the cheapest but most amazing pieces I can add to my collection without having to pay retail (antique store) prices. Once I'm done collecting, I will save a few pieces, and sell it all. This collection does not own me in the least. 

Can you say this about your collections?

So, keep only what you love and keep only what you use. Those are my two rules for keeping collecting and minimalism on the table together as friends. When you love what you have, the collection doesn't weigh on your shoulders as "stuff." When you use what you have - when your collection is both utilitarian and a satisfactory thing to look at - I find no reason not to hold onto it. It brings you joy.

The other big part here, other than my collection, is that the rest of my home is minimal. I have nothing else to clutter up my closets, drawers, and cupboards. This gives me the freedom and justification to keep my collection and still call myself a minimalist because the majority of my life has minimalism at its foundation.

Remember, minimalism isn't about just having the least amount of things possible. We need things to live and operate and to enjoy life. But the moment those things control us, we've lost our focus. We've lost the reason God made us: which is to love others, over things. With minimalism, we remind ourselves that this way of living (and loving) is possible. So, enjoy your collections! And if they've become a burden, then let them go... pare down to love.

-HJS 

Five Ways to Maintain Minimalism (When the Rest of the Family Isn't)

My family is not like me. I’m a full-blown minimalist in all areas, and they’d rather wallow in their belongings like pigs in a pen. Rude? Perhaps. Maybe equating them to swine isn’t the kindest. Although, I do love bacon.

But having been where they are, this might be the best way to describe it. Their stuff makes them happy, and they’re content to be surrounded by the excess of them. In essence, they don’t own their things… their things own them. 

I’m still working on this concept too. It’s hard to see how much our stuff controls us. I know this (and can say this in love) because I was exactly like them a few years ago.

I give them a lot of empathy in this area because it takes time to see the truth of our habits, particularly one that doesn’t seem like a habit but something that is a part of us all. Aren’t we supposed to need things? Don’t we use all that we have? Don’t we need more to exist and have a perfectly normal life?

I used to think this. But these days, my mind has shifted to a “less is more” mentality in most areas of my life. From what I wear, what’s in my house (my part of it anyway), and what I bring in, minimalist aspects are within them all. I even have a large collection of collectible kitchenware and still call myself a minimalist.

So, how does a minimalist like me live with - and enjoy - living with non-minimalists? Is this even possible? I can tell you it is. And it starts by having control over the areas within which I can maintain my minimalism.

Here are five ways to maintain minimalism in your life even if the rest of your family isn’t on board with it… yet.

Your closet - This is probably the biggest for most minimal-loving folks and the easiest to adapt to, even if your significant other isn’t interested. My husband and I share a walk-in closet: he has half and I have half – split right down the middle. The goal of minimalism for me is to work on what’s mine. And one of the few things in our house that we don’t share is my clothing. For the last couple of years, I have pared down my closet to the right amount of core pieces that go with everything. My husband has twice as much clothing as me, but that’s okay. My side is tidy and organized, and everything hanging up or on a shelf is something I wear or have worn this past year. I have an eclectic mix of vintage and modern clothing. This part of our closet is mine and it’s exactly as I like it. 

Your cosmetics (toiletries) - This is another area that only I have access to. A couple of years ago, I decided going more natural (with fewer chemicals) with my toiletries was necessary not just for a simple life but to combat my auto-immune illness. My make-up takes five minutes to put on because I only put on a few and my lotion is singular: one for my face and body. I don’t have excess cosmetics and my shampoo works as my body wash (it’s an organic and chemical-free one so why not use one for both?). It makes getting ready for the day the easiest it's ever been. From shower to finish, getting ready takes no longer than half an hour (including if I need to blow dry my hair). It’s so nice not having to use as many products. Simple, easy, clean!

Your shoes - This is where I need to improve more. I love shoes. I can pare down my closet to as little as I can, but shoes… please don’t ask me about my shoes. Regardless, as someone who has owned upward of fifty pairs (probably more, but I can't think about it now), I’ve downsized my shoes to about 28 - this includes flip-flops and hiking boots. Again, only I am wearing my shoes. And my husband and two sons all own about ten pairs of shoes or less… so this one is all on me! I’m sure there are a few more pairs I can scale down, but as always, it’s a process. Minimalism takes time not only to undertake but mentally accomplish.

Your collections - I have a huge love for vintage kitchenware. I’ve been collecting since I was a teenager, which means I’ve had decades of collecting. But, this takes up lots of room, and most of the pieces I don’t use (even though collections don’t have to be used.) So, to become the minimalist I yearn to be (free of my possessions that weigh me down) I have donated – and sold online – parts of my collections. Bit by bit, I’ve sold what I have had - because it was time. Someone else gets to enjoy them now. I still have a huge vintage Pyrex collection. But, it doesn’t have a grasp on me. I can sell it all tomorrow if I need to. It’s also the only collection I own - it’s something I enjoy using too.

Your grace (love, empathy, and tolerance) -  I step one foot into my sons’ rooms and my head is reeling. They have bookshelves full of books and nicknacks, and their dressers are covered with papers, books, trinkets … things that are important to them. They have so many clothes and don’t wear half of them. Here’s the thing: they know I’m a minimalist, they know how it works and why I do it, but it’s hard for them to adopt this way of living. This is where my grace, love, and empathy come into action. They don’t have to be like me to be loved. I love them anyway. Do I want them to see the (possible) error of their ways? Of course. But, all I can do is be an example. Maybe in time, they will want to adopt minimalism. Meanwhile, I will accept their choice and continue to make my choice.

If your family hasn’t seen the beautiful truth of minimalism yet, it doesn’t mean you have to live in constant friction with them. Make minimal the areas of life you do have control over and let the other areas come to minimalism in their own time. You can also clean out drawers and closets they don’t use, even parts of the kitchen with utensils and tools you’ve let collect dust. 

For a great book on minimalism, please read Joshua Becker's book The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own. I read this when it came out years ago and it kickstarted my journey into minimalism. 

Little by little, minimalism can enter all parts of your home. Start with what you can work with - whether it’s your closet or a single drawer all your own - and it will give you a place to retreat to and control when the rest of the family wants nothing to do with it. Understanding that we can live with less – not more– is something we all have to learn in each of our unique ways.

Merry Christmas, everyone. ♥

-HJS

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You Can't Take it with You

I followed a hearse to my favorite thrift store last week.

The irony of that wasn't lost on me. I was headed to a thrift store to buy stuff following a person who now had no need for stuff.

I did have a legitimate reason to thrift though. This is how I find my vintage items to sell in my online vintage clothing store. Vintage clothing is also ecologically responsible, so guilt didn't have me by the heart. Not to mention, I'm a minimalist. Stuff has less of a hold on me now than it ever has.

But... it really got me thinking:

How much more stuff do I have in my home that my kids will have to deal with when I'm gone? 

As a minimalist, there is less in my home than ever before. But I still have drawers and shelves of things I still need to go through. 

There are Christmas decorations from twenty years ago in my attic that I haven't put out in over ten years.

Despite my best effort at being minimal, I still had stuff... stuff still had me.

The hearse, with its dark rich mahogany casket resting softly in the back of the car, wasn't as morbid as it was enlightening. Did that person's family have to go through their things? Are they burdened by it all now? 

Then I thought. That could be me in there. I could be leaving my family with tons of stuff that they don't need. Would they feel compelled to keep it in a nostalgic, momento-type way? I didn't want them to have to do that. Sure, they could keep a few items, but all of it?

The hearse and I turned down the street to the thrift store. It kept on going on to its destination while I turned into the parking lot, noting a line of people waiting to get into the store before it opened. I got out of my car and headed in thinking about the Swedish Death Cleaning concept. 

Don't know what this is? I'd only heard about it a few years ago. It began in Sweden and other Scandinavian countries and is the concept of cleaning out what you have now so you don't burden your family with it later. It's genius.

And it is so anti-American it's astounding.

There is a great book about it (that I have yet to get on my Kindle) called The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. It covers all you'd ever need to know to get one's possessions under control.

So how do we combat our consumption problem? By being content with what we have; choosing to take in less, giving away more, and keeping only what works, serves, and helps us. This is what I try to do:

Hold Some: There are some deeply loved items and possessions to which we have an emotional attachment. It's okay to keep some of those. We should. But, just so you know, it's also okay to throw away yearbooks and old photos that don't mean anything. I know... sounds crazy. It's also alright to throw away journals and keepsakes that aren't really "sakes" but more "keeps." 

Give Away Some: The biggest blessing is giving away items. I can't tell you how marvelous it is to do this. There's such a joy that springs forth that it makes me want to give everything away. There are times when I'm tempted to sell an item or two on eBay. And that's alright. But, the gift of giving feels better than making money any day.

Opt to Bring in Less: This is where I fail regularly. A "less is more" lifestyle means not only decluttering regularly but choosing not to shop online or offline regularly. When I'm out thrifting, it is tempting to buy way more than I need - and not just for my shop. I'm talking about items for the house, the family, clothing, etc. When prices are cheap it's easy to think it's a deal and it should jump into your cart. This is where I have to be intentional. Do I need this? Do I already have something like this at home that works just fine? If I bought this today, would I regret it tonight?

You can't take it with you. 

While we should enjoy life - there will always be fun but responsible purchases to make - we should also be planning for the future. I don't want to burden my family with my stuff. Things that are valuable to me may not be to them. Actually, I know this to be true. They will not want them. I've already asked my kids about some items. They don't want them!

I'm lucky my parents already downsized - they're living a simple, minimal, and very happy life in their condo. But getting there took a lot of work! They pared down and we kids helped them pare down too. It was overwhelming at the time but the best choice they could have made. They did their Swedish Death Cleaning and we are all better for it.

The hearse will be for me one day. I want to live a satisfied life knowing I don't need much to be happy. But I also don't need to bequeath my silly trinkets - and collectibles they don't want - to my family.

I want to save my family more grief and be responsible with my possessions now.

-HJS

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Book Review: The Road Less Traveled

Like Tuesdays with Morrie, the book I read and reviewed a few weeks ago, my latest review is on a book that I read about twenty years ago. It too was more compelling than ever. This book is The Road Less Traveled, by Dr. Scott Peck. Let me start off by saying Dr. Peck's observations (as a psychiatrist and human being) are incredible and there is a reason this book sold millions.

Just like in the book I read before, age, experience, relationships, and heartbreak, change how we view everything. Life is hard (which is how he opens up the book... I don't know of a better opener than that). But, he points out one fact that got me underlining and highlighting scores of paragraphs and it was this - which also sums up the book: we are lazy.

While I balked at this, because I don't consider myself lazy, he began to explain away my scoffing and excuses. He began to prove his point. He says this:

 

"The myth of Adam and Eve can again be used to illustrate this [laziness]. One might say, for instance, that it was not laziness that prevented Adam and Eve from questioning God as to the reasons behind His law but fear --fear in the face of the awesomeness of God, fear of the wrath of God. But while all fear is not laziness, much fear is exactly that. Much of our fear is fear of a change in the status quo, a fear that we might lose what we have if we venture forth from where we are now.... the basis of fear is laziness, it is the fear of the work they [Adam and Eve] would have to do.... " 

This blew me away. Fear is synonymous with laziness. He goes on to say, 

"We have a sick self and a healthy self. No matter how neurotic or even psychotic we may be, even if we seem to be totally fearful and completely rigid, there is still a part of us however small that wants us to grow, that likes change and development, that is attracted to the new and the unknown and that is willing to do the work and take the risks involved in spiritual evolution. And no matter how seemingly healthy and spiritually evolved we are, there is still a part of us, however small, that does not want us to exert ourselves, that clings to the old and familiar, fearful of any change or effort desiring comfort at any coast and absence of pain at any price...."

What really got me believing he was right was looking at my writing background. I wrote a middle-grade book over ten years ago, but I desire to write more... and yet, I haven't been willing to do the background work to get there. I've written words, but haven't had others read them, nor have looked for an editor to look at it, to get an agent to look at it. These things have hindered me. 

I should've started writing for children with younger children's magazines first, writing short stories for them, then moved on to longer stories for older kids, and getting published there too. I should've joined a children's writing group and reached out to local writing groups... all sorts of things. But, I was lazy. I wanted to bypass all of that because- why? Because these things are hard and they are fear-based ideas (for me). It's rejection, more hard work, more sacrifice, and then even more rejection.

But, life is hard.

I don't get a pass just because things are hard. I'm not naturally gifted at writing, I've had to work at it, so I wasn't going to be the next Stephanie Meyers (Twilight Series) who randomly wrote and submitted, got accepted, and sold a bajillion books. That's abnormal. 

So Peck was right. Laziness is the issue. It's up to me to change this. And I've begun. I've joined SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) and I'm going to try to get connected to more writers. I've begun to write more - not books but articles and also children's short stories and poetry. Things I can get published through magazines that can help me acquire the skills to write better, and hopefully, more books. Study the craft, read more books, take seminars, and listen to what others have done.

Fear leads to laziness but once we see it and try to change that part of us, I think we've begun to live the life God intends. In all areas, though. Not just our work, but our relationships. I've been lazy in areas of my marriage, in raising my kids, and in my friendships. All of these valuable things stay valuable and real if I remain active. Reaching out to friends when I don't want to; addressing my children's needs when I feel I've already done enough for them; and being the wife my husband needs, not the one I think he needs. All of that. As Peck says, "An essential part of discipline is the development of an awareness of our responsibility and power of choice."

It's up to me to choose to not be lazy. Everyday.

Read the book. The Road Less Traveled is essentially a self-help book with a HUGE dose of honesty that serves to help and protect all of us if we listen to and heed Dr. Peck's honest and brilliant advice.

Five stars.

-HJS

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Book Review: Tuesdays with Morrie

Tuesdays with Morrie

 About fifteen years ago, I read the book Tuesdays with Morrie. 

Fifteen years ago I was a different person. In my early thirties, raising two young sons, and getting a grasp on the writing career I still wanted despite my schedule being more about my boys, I thought this book was interesting.

Just that. Interesting.

It sounds banal and annoying to say I thought it was interesting. But, it was. While it struck a chord within me (a soft one) that the story was sentimental, heart-warming, and heartbreaking, there is something to be said about life experiences that change a person. I guess I was banal and annoying back then. The book didn't mean much.

But life experiences change a person.

I suppose we are all naive in our early years. Which really means we're all insensitive. I take umbrage at that description for myself but after reading the book again, that's the only way to put it. 

Now that I've gone through fifteen more years of more pain and joy, heartbreak and happiness, this story was more than interesting. This book was almost, dare I say it, the meaning of life.

It sounds sacrilegious to say because, for me, the Bible is my main "meaning of life" book. But, what the author did with his story - about the relationship he had with his professor going through university and then reconnecting later on with him when they were older - was reveal the secret wisdom his professor had figured out. What was that wisdom? 

He figured out how to live an authentically real and happy life.

Life isn't about stuff, it's about people. It isn't about working harder, working faster, owning more, and upgrading everything we own (or presume to own.)

Life, according to him, with every good and bad thing he'd been through, is about three things (and I'm seriously paraphrasing here): loving others, helping others, and doing something that gives meaning to the world. i.e. making a difference.

As a sociology professor, with a Jewish background who took from many religions to understand his position in life (Christianity, Buddism, and Judaism), he took on his challenge - to love, to help, and to make a difference - and tried to uphold this noble way of living with each person he came in contact with.

Was this man perfect? No. Aren't there other people who do amazing things and are never written about? Yes. This professor just happened to have a student who became a writer. The book was born out of a way to love, to help others, and to make a difference. The author, Mitch Albom, with his book, became the living words of his professor.

That's pretty fantastic.

This book is old, it's been reviewed a gazillion times. There are other good books out there like this. I'm sure of it. But, seeing that I reread it and that initial chord that struck me the first time (soft) turned into one that hammered me in my heart (loud), I have to recommend it. 

It's about life, living, death, disease, paying attention to the important things, and ignoring the time-wasting events of our day. It's about being authentic and moving toward being happy with what we already have.

I suppose the book has elements of minimalism. Maybe that's why I love it more than I used to. I'm also getting older. I also know I could die today, just because I'm older - this isn't something I was pondering fifteen years ago. 

This professor and his words live on in this book decades after it was written. And I can't stop thinking about it. Find it on Amazon or get it on Libby (library reading app) for free. It's not long, about 200 pages, reads quickly, and leaves you with a new way of looking at life if you really let the story speak to you. This is the key: let it sink in and speak.

Five stars. 

-HJS

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